Silent Life
by anime-obsession260
Summary: Ran is going to study abroad, leaving poor Shinichi terribly lonely. But, is this a chance for Shiho who's always had a certain 'something' for the detective to make it into his heart? Maybe not. ShihoxShinichi HaibaraxConan Please R&R! bows pretty please
1. Thank You

Disclaimer: No. Detective Conan is not mine.

Hello!!!!!!!!!!!! This is my first DC fic and so please don't judge too harshly on it. In this fic, Ran and Shinichi do **not** end up together so please don't flame me if you don't like the pairing. You have been forewarned. I prefer ShihoXShinichi.

Also, because this is a Japanese show, I have put the last names in front of the first names because that's just the way it is. Thank you!

Haibara Ai – I'm not sure of her English name but has not appeared on Case Closed as of yet. She is the creator of the drug that made Conan shrink.

Shiho Miyano – Haibara's adult name.

Edogawa Conan – Edogawa Conan in Case Closed as well.

Kudou Shinichi – Jimmy Kudou

Mouri Ran – Rachel Moore

Mouri Kogoro – Richard Moore

Prof. Agasa – Dr. Agasa

Yoshida Ayumi – Amy Yoshida

Silent Life

Chapter One

The gentle washing of the water and the soft lapping at the stones… it was beautiful no doubt. Yet somehow, Haibara Ai could not find any peace… no matter how peaceful the place she was seemed.

Hopping off the large boulder she had been seated on only moments ago, she cursed inwardly as she twisted her ankle as she landed.

She thought she was already familiar with her new body. Now, she had a handicap. Great. Event through the pain she felt, her cold façade did not disappear.

Her auburn hair flowed in the wind while her clear eyes shone wonderingly at the world. and a bystander would have thought she was an angel… but they would have been wrong. True, on the outside, she was a cute seven year old. A sweet, smart, and pretty one at that. But inside she had already grown. A mature woman of…

"Seventeen already, huh?" the words flowed out of her mouth effortlessly, but the moment they escaped her lips, she bit down hard on her mouth. It was her fault. Her fault that she was eighteen but on the outside was still around seven years of age… it had hurt Conan too.

Kudou Shinichi. That was his real name. A brilliant high school detective shrunk to the size of a toddler all because of that stupid pill…. Her stupid drug. She had promised… that she would finish the antidote soon… but… almost a year had passed since she made that promise.

"Ai-chan!!" she flinched. It was _her_. That irritating… annoying woman. Shiho turned and pasted a smile across her face, "Yes, Ran-san?"

Ran walked over, frowning slightly, "Mou… How many times do I have to ask you to call me nee-chan?"

She bit her lip. Never. Never in a million years would this… _girl_ be her nee-chan… Akemi was so much better… so much…

"Hello? Daijoubu, Ai-chan?" Shiho resisted the urge to scream. Ai-chan… that had to be the most… grating nickname she had ever been given. She could tolerate it when Yoshida-san (Ayumi) said it, but when it came from this woman… "Hai. Daijoubu."

True, she _is_ a little better than that LOUD friend of hers, but it didn't matter… she would always dislike Ran.

"Come on then! Ai-chan, let's go inside! The party is starting!"

"…party?"

"Yes! Conan-kun planned it!"

Kudou… could he… could he actually have remembered…? Made a party for… did he even care?

He body went on autopilot as her mind swam around all these thoughts, and she did her best to suppress any feelings of slight hope… it just couldn't be…

"Isn't he so considerate?" Ran bent over and smiled at her small 'friend' as they walked towards Professor Agasa's house.

Shiho felt herself nod, then wince in pain as she put too much pressure on her hurt leg.

"He made me a going away party! He insisted that you be there too! I think he said something about speaking to you before the party though…"

Her heart stopped. Her blood stopped. She stopped. Biting her lip, Shiho tore away from Ran's grip and stood there, bangs shadowing her face.

"I knew it… he… he couldn't have… possibly…"

"Ai-chan?"

She shouldn't have raised her hopes. Shiho turned to look at the woman who was the object of Shinichi's affection. Mouri Ran. "N-Nothing's wrong. I…"

"Let's go then!" Shiho was once again being led away by an overly exuberant seventeen-year-old girl. Resisting the urge to rip Ran to pieces, she took deep breaths and kept her head down as she walked into Prof. Agasa's living room.

Finally the annoying brown-haired girl had let go of her hand, but Shiho was still… upset. The light tap on her shoulder didn't help. She knew who it was, "Kudou-kun?"

It was just them in the corner of the room, everyone else was inside having a great time… congratulating Ran…

Again. Her hand became a fist. Again Mouri Ran stole something that was precious to her. First it was…

"Do you mind if I take a pill?" her head shot around in surprise and she stared at the boy behind her.

"W-what did you say?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair nervously, "I was wondering… if I could take one of the temporary antidotes that you made… just for today… to say goodbye to Ran, you know…?"

She stopped him with a wave of her hand, "You _do_ know it's dangerous to take the antidote more than once a week… you had to use it just a few days ago!"

"But… I _have_ to speak with Ran as Shinichi. Conan can't make her stay behind…"

"Stay?" Shiho was sure she had become deaf. "You can't _seriously_ mean you want her not to go abroad to study. She's smart! She made it that far! Are you going to be _that_ selfish?"

He was nervous. Taking off his glasses and wiping them clean with the end of his jacket he spoke, "I didn't mean like _that_. I meant leave her heart here you know… for me…"

"You just needed to say goodbye."

"… er… basically yes… You know I feel weird asking you and stuff but…"

Shiho waved him off again, "It's dangerous, but it's your choice. Come with me."

"Thanks!" he hugged her happily. When he noticed how she froze when he made contact with her, he immediately let go. "S-Sorry…"

A curt nod excused his behavior and she led him up the stairs to her room, "You brought a change of clothes right?"

"They're in the cupboard on the bathroom."

She pressed a hidden button on the bottom of the table ledge and a quiet 'click' could be heard. Pulling out the top drawer of her desk, she again pressed a hidden button on the underside of the drawer and a wooden panel popped out. Reaching through all the files inside, she found a small plastic container.

"Wow. You've made a lot of them," she liked that there was respect in his voice.

Doing her best to maintain the cold expression on her face, Shiho determinedly kept back the tears that were threatening to fall, "Well you seem to need them a lot. Here."

She took a small white capsule from the container and handed it to him.

"Thanks!" he grinned boyishly at her before dashing out the room in the direction of the bathroom.

Shiho put her head down. She would not cry. It didn't matter that no one noticed that she was hurt… inside and out. It did not matter that no one remembered… didn't matter that he loved Ran… She would **not** cry. Who cares if no one remembered her birthday… it's not like the Black Organization celebrated her sweet sixteen either…

Walking over to the door of the bathroom, she knocked. "Are you done? Give me Conan's clothes. I'll be you for today. Mouri-san will definitely notice if you're not there… Haibara Ai is never noticed anyway."

Her bangs fell forward and a shadow crept over her eyes. It did not matter. She would not cry. It didn't matter that he loved Ran. It didn't matter that Shiho loved Shinichi. It did not matter. She would not cry. She would **not** cry.

To be continued…

So… what do you think? PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! This **is** my **first** Conan fic so I know it's not exactly first rate.

REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

daijoubu? – are you ok?

Nee-chan – older sister


	2. My Birthday

Disclaimer: Nope not mine… what form of suicide do you think is appropriate for this type of situation?

Thank you SO MUCH to everyone that reviewed! Let me clarify one thing though, this is not my first **fanfic** this is my first **Detective Conan Fanfic**. Thanks!!!!

I'm surprised there are so many ShihoxShinichi supporters! I'm happy! I haven't been able to find that many of them and I actually was surprised when there was no serious bashing when I posted this.

BTW, in response to one of my reviews, actually I **do** think Shinichi might hug a girl is he's happy, I mean, remember the episode when he was going to propose to Ran? He hugged a girl during the case and it was not Ran. - Thanks for reviewing though!

Silent Life

Chapter Two

Shinichi's POV

No one ever notices? Shiho…

"What do you mean?" Shinichi grinned at Haibara as he opened the door. "Of course people notice! Would Prof. Agasa take you in if he didn't notice you? Geez. Your logic is kind of off today…"

"Don't think anything of it," Haibara waved him off quickly. Her bangs were shadowing her face so that he couldn't see her eyes.

Shiho…

She turned so that her back was facing him and began walking away, but a hand on her shoulder stopped all movement., "Oi… Haibara… Daijoubu?"

"Hm? Yes of course, why wouldn't I be?" her blue eyes had a trace of pink… but maybe it was just his imagination. "Oh, by the way. Give me Conan's clothes. I have to be him for today… and maybe a little bit of tomorrow too… Mouri-san is going to notice if her beloved Conan isn't there."

… What's wrong with her? First she seems slightly worried about me… which isn't really possible… probably just a trick my mind is playing on me… and now she seems sad.

Wordlessly, he handed the clothes to her and she began walking to her room. His eyes followed her the entire lengthy of the hallway until the door quietly shut, but even then he couldn't her the image of her walking… slowly… away… out of his mind.

Why is it that she seems so lonely these days? Anniversary of her sister's death? No… that's not it… that was a little while ago.

His breath caught as his memories flashed a picture of a crying girl sitting in front of a grave not leaving, even though the rain was pouring. She hadn't left all day and night and hadn't said a word to him for the rest of the week… even the Detective Boys had understood that they shouldn't bother their slightly… different friend.

"Well… I better try and not speak for a while… I can't fake sick so soon, everyone would suspect something," Shinichi's head shot up and he stared at… Conan… no… Haibara.

"You know, you should just stay Conan, you wear him well!" Shinichi laughed patted "Conan" on the back. It was true, it was hard to tell that this new Conan was none other than Haibara Ai, the cold, quiet girl who ignored most of the world.

For some reason, a flush ran onto her cheeks and her head dropped low and she stared at the ground for a few moments before saying, "You probably shouldn't show up until later… it's too dangerous to be out in the sun and they might want you to go play "games" with them outside."

With that, she left, walking silently down the stairs.

What… what was that? I had just joked about her staying Conan… for fun… to make her feel better… but…

Shinichi's hand rose and clutched his heart and he knelt on the ground suddenly very pained. Why… did it feel like she was leaving me forever? Closing off from me… why does it bother me?

"Che. I really shouldn't get so emotional… probably side effects from the pill," he got up and slipped into Prof. Agasa's room. "Besides… I shouldn't think so much…"

His hand turned over and revealed in his palm was a small, black, velvet box. Eyes shadowing his face, a hesitant smile appeared, "I still have to give Ran this…"

Haibara's POV

Naze…

Why did he have to go and say that? Do I….

Her small fingers brushed the wig that she was wearing.

Do I really look that much like a… boy? Like Conan? I bet… he doesn't even really think of me as a woman… especially with this body… and my past. I'm merely the… the… the scientist who hurt him… but is atoning for her sins by making an antidote.

Yes… all that matters is that I make an antidote and then after that… after… that…

Edogawa Conan… no Haibara Ai stood in the doorway, staring out at all her friends… no acquaintances. She didn't have the right to call them friends, she was a murderer after all.

After that… I will disappear from their lives forever. It's safer that way. There's no need for me to stay… nothing for me to hold on to.

With that in mind, Haibara mustered all her courage and stepped into the room.

"Conan-kun!!" she nearly didn't realize that it was her who Yoshida was calling. "Yoshida- I mean, Ayumi-chan! Nani?"

There was a small device in her mouth that projected Conan's voice instead of hers. But still, she had to keep talking to a minimum. If she spoke too much, her way of speaking would give Shinichi away.

"Hurry! They're about to start cutting the cake!" Ayumi ran up and grabbed her hand excitedly. "Hayaku!!!!"

"O-Ok!" she did her best to act like Edogawa Conan and raced off with her little 'friend.' "Um… what kind of cake is it?"

Ayumi shot her an incredulous look, "You picked it! You should know!" "O-Of course!" Haibara sweatdropped and managed to paste a smile on her face. Today was going to be a _long_ day.

All in all, even _she_ had to admit, the party was good. Ran had specifically asked her to be her partner for water balloons, but Haibara suspected that the older girl became suspicious when her beloved Conan-kun didn't call her Ran-neechan.

But here was the important part. She had to get everyone else but Ran out of the house so that Shinichi could speak to her.

"Minna!!" Haibara called out in her best Conan impression. "For an end to the party, Prof. Agasa is setting off fireworks at the park right down the street! Let's all go!"

"Yatta!" the detective boys were dancing around the professor as they began walking out the front door.

A small click in Haibara's pocket set off the phone upstairs and she ran to get it, "Ran! It's for you!"

"You guys go on ahead!" she could hear Ran calling out to the rest of their friends. Her footsteps echoed as she walked up to where Haibara was and she thanked her before taking the phone. "Moshi moshi?"

"Conan-kun" ran off and supposedly left with everyone else, but in truth, Haibara had hid behind the table.

"Moshi moshi? Mou! No one is there! What was Conan-kun doing?" sighing, the brown haired girl put the phone in the receiver and turned to go down the stairs, but stopped.

Actually, the pair of arms encircling her waist stopped her. But she wasn't a karate champion for nothing, "HYAA!"

Ran's left foot shot straight into the stomach of Shinichi, slamming him hard against the wall.

"S-Shinichi?!" Ran ran over to help him up. "Why are you here? A-Are you ok?" "Your kick." "Huh?"

"Your kick," he grinned, as he stood up, holding his stomach. "Is still as strong as ever, Ran… actually… I think it's stronger."

"You're back… I can't believe it… are you going to stay?" a few tears dripped down her face and Shinichi hurriedly wiped them away with his thumb and held her close.

"I'm sorry Ran… I can't stay just yet… but I'm close. Very close to being done with this case…"

Che. I guess they really **are** made for one another… I really shouldn't be listening… I should leave them alone… give them their privacy…

But for some reason, Haibara's legs were planted to the ground and her breath caught in her throat as she watched Shinichi lean down and plant a kiss on Ran's lips.

I wish… no. Don't think about that. Don't even go there Miyano Shiho. Haibara scolded herself and tried to will her legs to take her away from that place.

"I wanted to ask you last time… but a few men from the case I'm working on appeared…" a silver band was slipped onto a surprised Ran's finger. "W-Would… you marry me?"

"I…" Ran was speechless… so was Haibara. "I'm so… surprised."

What she had wanted to say was happy, but… she was so shocked.

"… You don't have to give me an answer now…" he kissed her again. "I'm just happy to see you Ran… I know this is sudden." He flashed her a grin before he felt his insides give a jolt.

Fool. You shouldn't have taken the pill so early in the day… you just couldn't wait, could you?

Haibara slipped out of her hiding place and soundlessly went to her room to change, doing her best not to break out crying.

It should NOT hurt. I do NOT like him so why… I'm just so lonely… and pathetic. If nee-chan saw me… she'd laugh I'd bet. I need to get my act together.

When she got out of her room, dressed as Haibara Ai, Ran had already left, and Shinichi was in the bathroom.

She knocked and the door opened just enough for her to hand Conan's clothes in.

"How was it," she found her voice and spoke, but for a while, Shinichi met her question with silence. "… I did it. I asked her to marry me."

The door swung open and out stepped Conan, "But… she hasn't given me an answer yet… I swear. I thought I was going to die."

Choosing to play the cold and calculating friend, Haibara shrugged, "She'll get to it eventually. You _were_ rather sudden about it after all. Come on. They're probably whining about a missing Conan."

The two walked in silence to the park.

"Where you listening?"

"…yes…"

"Kind of embarrassing, wasn't it?" Conan grinned and put his hands behind his head as they walked along the road. "But I did it. I asked."

"…no…"

"Huh?" he turned and looked at her. She could feel his questioning gaze boring into her very being. "I said no. It wasn't embarrassing."

"…oh…"

Conan seemed to notice something else in her, causing her to blush because he was now staring, "What is it?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing."

She turned to look at him, raising her eyebrows in a quizzical manner.

"I mean… you seem a little depressed."

"Oh. I'm fine."

"But really!" He stopped her when she began to walk away. "Is something wrong? I know there is _something_."

"Nope nothing."

He sighed, "You really are exhausting to talk to. Just tell me. Give me some answer or I won't let you go." "Something is on my mind then."

"Yes, what is on your mind?"

"You're exhausting to talk to as well," she let small smile grace her lips before turning to look up at the stars. "Fine then… it's my birthday today."

She left him there, gaping at her.

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To be continued…

- PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!

BTW. Just to clear a few things up. This is not my first fanfic, but it's my first DETECTIVE CONAN fanfic. Ok?

Naze – why?

Nani – what?

Moshi moshi – hello on the telephone

Hayaku – hurry

Minna - everyone


	3. Hurt and Hatred

Disclaimer: Detective Conan is not mine… especially since I couldn't write a mystery to save my life! XP

SORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY for taking so long to update. Ehehehehehe…. Um… enjoy?

**Silent Life**

**Chapter Three**

-

-

"Erm… happy birthday?"

A small sigh escaped Haibara's lips before she could restrain it. She shouldn't feel like this. It's not like Kudo remembered his **own** birthday… it should bother her so much that he forgot **hers**. But still… it would have been nice…

Flashing him a witty smirk, she quickly turned her head around to face the oncoming group of partiers, waving to them, yet saying to Conan, "Thank you. At least _someone_ wished me good fortune this year… a few years ago… the Black Organization would have awarded me with… … but it does not matter."

She had plastered a smile on her face and she grinned at the professor and the others coming towards the two of them, but was doing her best to keep herself calm as she realized she had almost said something far too… personal.

Ran skipped over to Conan and pouted cutely at him, hiding all traces of her confusion about the earlier meeting with Shinichi, "Conan-kun… you missed the fireworks! What were you doing taking so long? You too! Ai-chan!"

"Gomen, Ran-san. Conan-kun and I were just I forgot something and he waited for me while I ran back to get it. We _did_ get to see some of them from out here though," she forced the smile to morph into a meek expression, all the while being terribly irritated that she was forced to act so sweet… all the time.

As they returned to the house, Haibara mused that most people would not call the tiny 'Ai-chan' sweet… but… her actions _were_ **too** sweet for **her** taste. That was just the way her mind worked….

"Hey! Go say bye to Ran! The last time you're going to see her is tomorrow at the airport, you know. You should go wish her luck and-" his comments were silenced by a slender finger placed on his lips by the half-British girl. Her eyebrows were raised as she looked at him, amused.

Shifting her weight over to her right leg, Haibara crossed her arms and smirked, "Sorry Kudo-kun. Just because you're too nervous to say goodbye to your girlfriend, doesn't mean I'm going to accompany you over there and serve as your nanny… I've already finished my oh so _tearful_ words of farewell and it's **you're** turn now. Good luck, Kudo-kun."

With everything said and done, she turned on her heel and left him standing there, fidgeting, and wringing his hands, trying to think of the most appropriate way for him to see Ran off… were roses proper for an elementary school child to present to a woman leaving to study abroad?

-

"He'll never change," a tiny gasp emitted from her lips and before she could control herself, her legs seemed to give way out from under her as she crumbled to the floor, cursing in ten different languages about her **idiotic** and **weak** emotions.

Back at the Organization… having **feelings** would have been equivalent to shouting and begging to be strung up and shot. Here… though there weren't men with deadly weapons battling wits with her any longer… it was the same. Her views were set and were difficult to change. Miyano Shiho did not believe in having emotions such as… love. Friends, trust, and… love were all useless, excess baggage that weighed a person down… but even though she knew all this… even though she knew…

… why did it… why did her heart squeeze and wrench itself from her chest painfully… why did it do that… why did it hurt to see the expression on his face… **his** face when it hurt **him** to have to bid Ran… sayonara…?

"All excess baggage… and I've gone and collected far too much of that trash," her voice was thick with sarcasm as she dragged herself over to her computer, just to begin rapidly clicking on different files, studying and developing as much information on APTX 4869 as possible.

She had to distance herself between her and everyone else before her will and her resolve completely depleted into nothingness. But first… the antidote and… as much as she hated it, Kudo came first.

"Where **is** she!" Shinichi grumbled as he made his adorable 'Conan face' for his beloved 'nee-chan.' He had to look happy and supportive for Ran when she departed.

"Shinichi-kun!" it was the professor, and Conan quickly excused himself to go to a more isolated corner to speak with the older man.

Shoving his hands in his pockets and glaring indignantly up at the doctor, he whispered harshly, "Where is that blasted Haibara! Isn't she going to see Ran off?"

"You see- Ran-kun!" Prof. Agasa raised himself up and greeted the young lady with a warm smile. He had watched both her and Shinichi grow up, and was proud to say that he knew them almost better than their own parents knew them… he'd also become quite attached… "Congratulations! Ai-kun… erm… she is sick this morning, and she told me to tell you that she's very sorry that she could not come. We are both very happy for you… and will miss you too!"

Tears sprouted in the girl's eyes as she hugged the professor before straightening her body, wiping all the droplets of water falling down her cheeks, "Oh… I will miss you! Tell Ai-chan that it was too bad, but I understand and… Conan-kun…"

Biting his lip, miniature Shinichi with glasses stood and held open his arms to her, eyes begging for a hug. Shinichi would have gone to hell and back before he openly admitted he wanted a hug… but Conan didn't need to be so reserved in pride. That was, perhaps, the one upside of his shrunken form. Sobbing, Ran picked up the boy who reminded her so much of her… most precious person, and gave him a long embrace that told him exactly how much she didn't want to let him go, "Take care, Conan-kun. If Dad gives you any trouble, just ring me up and I'll take care of it… okay?"

Unable form any words, Conan merely nodded and hugged her back, "Ran-neechan… I'll miss you… and… I'm sure Shinichi-niichan misses you as well."

"Conan-kun…" she smiled at him and then left him. Letting him watch her retreating form, walking towards the docking area for her flight.

She had been overshadowed by Ran once again… Haibara squeezed her beautiful blue eyes shut tightly and clenched her hands into fists, thinking about how she had first truly met the woman… who always took everything away from her… not that it was hers to begin with…

"Hi, I'm Haibara Ai desu. Nice to meet you." She extended a hand out to the surprised brunette who was currently bending over in order to hear her properly.

That had been when Kudo had finished solving a case on the beach. When the criminal had began vocally cursing the world for hating him, Ran told him a… lesson about life.

It had been because Ran had, for once, said something deep… something with meaning… something worth thinking about, and it had made Haibara feel that Ran was not just weak in mind, but strong in body type of girl. It had made her willing to accept Mouri Ran into her list of… more notable acquaintances. In all honesty… Ai hadn't ever thought it would happen. The acceptance of Ran. The woman who both laughed and cried whenever she felt like it… the woman who openly showed all emotions… the woman whom Kudo was most interested in.

But then… she had began to insist that Haibara call her… **nee-chan**. Unfortunately, at the time… and even still… she was not prepared to call **anyone** but her deceased older sister… nee-chan. That had begun the rift. And soon… she could hardly stand the woman's presence. They were back to square one.

Her fist pounded against the ground in pain as she continued her little trip to memory lane.

"**Where the hell were you? Why weren't you there to see Ran off! Why are you so mean to her when she just tries to be nice to you? You know, you're really a selfish fool! No one will ever like you if you're so cold and cruel!"**

Willing herself to show no change of expression on the outside, but letting tears flow freely on the inside, Haibara bit her tongue rather than let any emotion come forth from her mouth. The words Kudo has spat towards her when he got here were… more than merely irritating. It hurt.

"_**I almost forgave you when Agasa-hakase said you were sick. But look at you! As health as the day you were born! You really have no heart! Do you know that she was still thinking about you when she left! You! The one who never acknowledges her! You! The one who is least deserving of her attention!"**_

As far as she was concerned, he was right. Completely, one hundred percent right. That is, for the healthy part… but she wasn't exactly a sick patient either just…

_**YOU HAVE NO HEART!**_

_**YOU ARE LEAST DESERVING OF HER ATTENTION!**_

He was right. She didn't have a heart. She was a murderer… a cold-blooded murderer who had taken the lives of countless people with her despicable drug… and… she **was** least deserving of someone like Ran's attention. Even _if_ she considered herself a candidate for Kudo's heart… she had about as much chance of winning him over as Ayumi did. That hurt as well.

Everything he said was correct. She was heartless, cruel, undeserving, and lastly loathsome. How the detective boys managed to stand her… how the professor managed to stand her… was beyond all comprehension. Kudo seemed to hate her enough.

Trying to stand from her crouching position on the floor of her room, Haibara unsuccessfully tried to balance herself and tumbled back onto the ground. This was the spot Kudo had found her in… she hadn't been able to move since morning.

Flashback

"Say goodbye to Kudo Shinichi… Sherry!" Gin fired his gun at the detective, but somehow, Shiho was able to fling herself out in front of him, only to feel the bullet pierce through her back… and into her lung.

"_S-Shiho! You idiot! Are you okay?" it was Shinichi's familiar voice… and he had called her… **Shiho**…_

Her entire body was on fire, the buzzing in her ear drowned out the shouting and fighting of the two men, however, when she felt rather than heard Gin set another bullet in his gun, she threw herself up towards the organization member only to… buzzing?

Haibara Ai awoke with a start to her alarm, getting up, immediately, worried that something had happened to Kudo since her dark dreams almost always foretold some bad future occurrence… and crashed right into the new shelf she had installed above the desk for her to grab necessary documents on the drug instantly with a quick press of a secret compartment.

Her entire body banged back down onto the hard, wooden table and her stomach hit a corner, causing her to flip to the side… letting a plastic tube full of APTX 4869 semi-replicas push painfully into her eye. In the end, she laid sprawled out onto the ground, glass of water seeping into her back and half blind. Her head was pounding… the endless ring of her alarm did not help, and all she could see in her right eye were blue sparks that made her head hurt even more than normal… the breath had been knocked out of her, and all she could do was lean against the chair, trying to catch her breath.

Last night she had spent from the time she left Conan downstairs until… who knows how late… she had fallen asleep trying to find a way to cure Kudo. She had also set the alarm so that she could get up early to finish the present she had been making for Ran. As much as she felt beaten by the girl in every way, she still had enough mind to properly bid her farewell. She had been planning on finishing the red scarf she had been knitting.

After a few minutes, the slowly forming bruise over her dominant eye grew so swollen that she could not open her eyes, let alone blink, and the searing pain in her head would not stop. She surely had a large bump growing there.

Haibara attempted to stand, but fell to the ground almost instantly as her midsection strongly disagreed… causing her to twist her ankle. This was just not her day.

Hearing footsteps racing over to her room, she turned her head around just in time when the professor opened the door in a rush, looking around frantically to see what was wrong, "Ai-kun! I heard something… are you alright?"

"Of course, I just slipped off the chair while working on some… research. Could you get that alarm for me? It's been ringing for a little while… did I wake you?" Ai bit her lip, she hadn't meant to wake the elderly man she was so grateful to…

Clicking the annoying buzzer off, he smiled over at her and laughed, "Haha. No. I was up doing some work as well… a new invention for Shinichi-kun! Do you need a hand up?"

"Ah… no. I'm fine. You can go ahead and get ready to meet Ran… I'll start to prepare as well."

Nodding at her comment, he left her room once again.

It was dark inside, and as she couldn't get up, Haibara felt around under her desk for the scarf she had been working on. She had heard that Ran liked red… and though she had already gone through five other scarves before she finally got the hang of making one, Haibara had been prepared to work at it until she could produce a scarf that was good enough.

But… since the light was so dim… there was no way she could knit…

She was in the process of dragging her body towards the curtains when she heard the professor call, "Ai-kun! Are you ready to go? I'm ready to leave."

Miyano Shiho said nothing as she held the unfinished gift in her hands. With one hand, she pulled on a string and the curtains slowly opened.

"Professor," her words were loud and clear. "I do not feel like going anymore… I don't feel well."

"Ai-kun! Do you need to see a doctor? We should go-"

"No," she cut him off. "It's ok. You go take care of Ran and tell her goodbye for me. And tell her and Kudo that I'm sorry."

The doctor knew when his 'adoptive daughter' did not wish to be disturbed… and that it was best for him not to disturb her, so he merely stood near the door and said for her to hear, "Are you ok then, Ai-kun?"

"I'll be ok. You go on."

"Bye then."

"… bye…"

And she had sat there, the whole time. Head pounding, half blind, knitting away silently. Trying not to think too much…

**He** had barged in, ignored her protests and simply began yelling wildly at her… oblivious to the fact that her stomach was screaming in agony as he shook her, when he pulled her up to look at her eye to eye… how her whole body had been writhing in pain, and how he got even angrier when she had collapsed onto the floor.

It seemed overly dramatic. Just yesterday she had helped him say goodbye… he had hugged her and had wished her a happy birthday… no matter how half-hearted it was…

But today… he hated her. Hated her with every inch of his being. And more than her head… her gut… her leg… her eye… was the pain and suffering of feeling the intensity of his hatred. She felt like dying right then. Right there. What was the point of living anyway?

She had never seen any reason to live.

None at all.

-

-

-

**To be continued…**

So… can anyone see where this is going? Please review! I **do** read every review, and I love every single one of them! Thank you!

-

Gomen – sorry

Nee-chan – older sister

Nii-san – older brother

Hakase - professor


	4. You Really Like to Cry

**Disclaimer: I don't own Detective Conan**

Ahahahahaha. Don't kill me, please. I updated as soon as I could… XD Actually, I have a lot of fics going on at one time so its kind of hard…

Well anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter… I like it, even though it's not particularly well written. . Enjoy!

* * *

**Silent Life**

**Chapter Four

* * *

**

**Conan's POV**

Quiet mutterings echoed down the hall and soft footsteps could be heard stopping in front of a white door. A fist tightened and a head rested itself on the wall, and a long sigh emitted from a tiny boy.

"Exactly why am I doing this again? I'll never be able to live this down." He groaned.

But he was the one to blame for what had happened, and what he had done was wrong. He was at fault, and that fact annoyed him to no end. Being the cocky detective that he was, Conan almost refused to admit to himself that a mistake had been made by **him**. The genius, high school detective. But that would have been lying to himself… and as horribly as Haibara would treat him, lying to one's self was even worse.

After the professor had managed to calm him down, all Conan had wanted to do was go and rip his hair out.

**What** had he been thinking?

Not only was his conduct cruel and unusual (although he _still_ thought that not going to see Ran off was even more cruel and unusual as well), but he could have sworn that she was in pain at the time. The room was dark…. But it almost seemed as if she had a black eye.

But that couldn't be the case. Haibara stayed out of trouble in order to hide from the Black Organization… and she wasn't the type to get into physical fights. He was probably over-sensitive because he felt guilty.

Anyway, he had to go apologize either way.

Edogawa Conan stood in front of a white door, a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolate behind his hand, with a loose fist raised to knock on the door.

The roses were to apologize… and the box of chocolate as her belated birthday present. It had been hard, thinking about what to get her. Just **what** does one give to Haibara? The only thing she does is read fashion magazines and work on science experiments, and while giving her a fashion magazine was out of the question, a book on science seemed a bit too dull as well.

He had figured that since everyone loves chocolate she would too, and roses… well… it was for lack of any other idea. Besides, the two gifts seemed to be decent enough. They would pass.

Yet even so, he hesitated. As soon as he knocked, there would be no going back. And although he knew that going to apologize was the right thing to do… he doubted that Haibara was going to be very… kind and sensitive about it.

Oh yes. He could just picture what _she _would do. His pride would be stabbed at over and over again until he was groveling on the floor not only for forgiveness, but also for her mercy. She always **did** have a certain **way** with words.

Instead of knocking, Conan did his best to silently open the door and peek in, but to his surprise –and utter horror-, the hinges gave out a loud creaking noise. Nearly jumping into the air, expecting to see a horrifically menacing Haibara glaring at him from the doorway, he managed to keep himself on the ground when he detected no movement from the other side of the wall.

He frowned. The noise he had made was pretty loud… Conan had thought that he was lucky that she hadn't suddenly turned up before he even opened the door, but for her to not hear the squeak…

His small hand reached forward and pushed the door wide open.

… it was empty…

Odd. He didn't remember seeing her leaving the house… let alone her room, but it _had_ been an hour since he had last seen her.

Walking inside, Conan looked around. It was strange… something wasn't quite right. Haibara hadn't even drawn open the curtains.

The darkness made him a little uneasy, yet for some reason, he wanted to adapt to it. He was pretty sure… no… positive that the former Sherry had been… and still was used to darkness.

Conan shuddered. Unable to help himself, he rubbed his hands together. Evidently it was cold inside as well. Exactly what was Haibara doing to herself?

Stepping quickly over to the other side of the room, his hand tugged at a thin cord making the long, white cloth covering the glass draw aside quickly. Light shot into the room, and he had to raise up his arm to block the sun's rays from hurting his eyes.

Such light after such a thick darkness was almost unbearable.

… was that how Haibara felt… feels?

His eyes adjusting to the light, Conan looked outside and smiled. Her window reached from the ground to just below the ceiling. The scenery was nice… he had a good view of the backyard, though there wasn't much of a garden. Wondering if the scientist ever enjoyed the scene, Conan looked around.

With the room filled with light, it didn't look so gloomy and lonely anymore.

He once heard someone say that the styling and appearance of one's room often described its owner. It told stories of the one who slept in it.

Haibara would probably call him an idiot for feeling this way, but he really wanted to get to know her better. She felt so much pain… and loneliness in the past. What was it like to live like this now? Sure, they were both miniature and suffering, and even though she said she appreciated having someone in the same circumstances with her, was it truly enough of a comfort? Did his pain even begin to compare with hers?

Conan's eyes roamed around the walls and furniture. It was extremely neat and tidy, but the bed was unkempt and there was a knitting basket knocked over on the floor. Reaching and picking the basket up, his eyes widened. There was no way he could have known that the great Miyano Shiho was actually interested in knitting scarves.

That was something he expected… well… Ran to do.

He placed the basket back on the floor and scratched his head, "Where is that woman anyway? I came just to see her… and all I get is this."

Figuring that he might as well leave the roses and chocolate on the table for her to find and escape being humiliated by her, Conan rested the objects down on some papers, but accidentally bumped the mouse.

Immediately, the screen lit up, and a window requesting for a password came out.

"She better not have been enjoying some leisure time on the computer instead of seeing Ran off. If that's the case, I can just go eat all the chocolate myself." Grumbling, he plopped himself down on her chair and stared at the screen, fingers itching to try and figure out what type of password Haibara would have.

It wasn't right… but just so tempting…

It probably had something to do with the drug anyway… if so, he was entitled to reading _some_ of its information… wasn't he? Might as well try a few passwords…

* * *

He typed in **APTX4869**

**ERROR **popped up on the screen.

**---**

Glaring at the uncooperative computer, Conan continued trying.

**MIYANOSHIHO**

**ERROR**

"Wrong again?" he folded his arms and leaned back on the chair. Glancing at the clock, he just about decided to give up and leave, but someone told him that the information he was about to access would be extremely… interesting.

**AKEMI**

**ERROR**

**---**

Wracking his brain for more possible passwords, Conan began typing furiously.

**PROFESSORAGASA**

**ERROR**

Nope. Not that one.

**DETECTIVEBOYS**

**ERROR**

**-----**

**MOURIRAN**

He almost laughed out loud. What was he thinking? She hadn't even bothered to see Ran off… no wonder it came out as an **ERROR**.

Almost carelessly, he made one last attempt. This time it was just for fun.

**KUDOUSHINICHI**

He blinked once.

Then twice.

The screen read:

**ACCESS GRANTED

* * *

**

Not knowing why, Conan turned a shade redder than he had been before, but quickly slapped himself to stop the blush from growing even more.

She probably still felt guilty… he shouldn't be flattered by that.

He read what the screen had to say and then smirked. Nope. Definitely not drug information.

It was just a commonplace diary. Almost too commonplace for Haibara. Apparently, she had been writing in it instead of going to see Ran off. Now he could eat the chocolate with a clear conscience. No need to give it to someone who was just wasting away time instead of being there for a friend. If she actually called Ran her friend.

Swiftly tearing open the package and popping a few pieces of candy into his mouth, he decided to be generous and let her keep the roses. Not like he had any use for them anyway.

His eyes continued to survey the screen, but as he read, his brows furrowed and he concentrated even harder on the screen.

There was nothing wrong with the diary. It seemed so very Haibara. More cold and calculating than anything else. Yet…

That was probably what was bugging him. He hadn't imagined her to be so… inhuman and so blockaded from emotions even to herself. Conan knew… she was still human. She had feelings. Even if it was by herself, alone at night… she still cried.

Great. Now he felt bad for eating the chocolate.

He stared intently at the screen, carefully rereading everything from the past few days.

* * *

(Everything that is in italics Conan cannot read, since it's written in white.)

MONDAY:

TODAY WAS MUNDANE AS USUAL, THOUGH I DID STAY UP PRETTY LATE. (Conan assumed that it was for the antidote.) THE PROF. NEEDS TO WORK ON HIS DIET. I DON'T SEE WHY IT IS SO DIFFICULT FOR HIM TO NOT EAT ICE CREAM EVERY DAY. HONESTLY. HE SHOULD BE MORE AWARE OF HIS HEALTH. HE'LL BE DIABETIC SOON IF HE DOESN'T STOP HIMSELF FROM PIGGING OUT ALL THE TIME. AYUMI-CHAN CAN BE SO AMUSING AT TIMES THOUGH… SHE MANAGED TO DRAG ME INTO PLAYING ONE OF HER SILLY LITTLE GAMES. SO CAREFREE.

_MONDAY:_

_HE IS SUCH AN IDIOT. THE TEMPORARY ANTIDOTE HE INSISTS ON USING TAKES ITS TOLL ON HIM EVERY SINGLE TIME. HOW DOES HE EXPECT HIS BODY TO LAST? THAT IDIOT… MAKING ME WORRY. RAN-SAN DOESN'T KNOW EXACTLY HOW LUCKY SHE IS TO HAVE SOMONE SO DEVOTED TO HER. I WISH… NEVERMIND. WHAT I WISH IS USELESS ANYWAY. EMOTIONS ARE UNNEEDED. I LEARNED THAT IN THE ORGANIZATION… I HOPE I'M NOT GETTING SOFT. YET MY HEART BROKE TODAY. AMAZING, ISN'T IT? KUDOU MUST REALLY BE SOMETHING ELSE TO HAVE THAT KIND OF AN EFFECT ON ME. THE LAST TIME I FELT SUCH HURT WAS WITH… SHUICHI. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW. KUDOU DESERVES HIS HAPPINESS… SO DOES RAN-SAN. I CANNOT INTERFERE. I DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO… NO MATTER **HOW** I FEEL. IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. OH. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY…_

TUEDAY:

RAN-SAN LEFT TODAY.

_TUESDAY:_

_I STAYED UP LATE LAST NIGHT WORKING ON APTX 4869. STUPID ME. I FEEL ASLEEP DOING SO. WHEN I WOKE UP, I CLUMSILY INJURED MYSELF IN FIVE DIFFERENT AREAS. ALL BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID ALARM CLOCK. I NEEDED TO FINISH RAN-SAN'S PRESENT. THAT STUPID SCARF. NOW I CAN BARELY MOVE. I THINK ONE OF MY RIBS ARE ACTUALLY BROKEN… THE BRUISE ON MY EYE IS DEFINITELY NOT HELPING MUCH EITHER. BUT I GUESS I GOT WHAT I DESERVED. A MURDERER LIKE ME. I HATE THIS… BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL THAT KUDOU IS JUSTIFIED IN HIS ANGER. TRULY, HE COULD HAVE KILLED ME AND I WOULD NOT HAVE BLAMED HIM. WHAT GOOD AM I ANYWAY? I'M JUST A MURDERER. SOMEONE WHO RUINED HIS LIFE. SOMETIMES I WISH I WOULD JUST DIE. JUST CRAWL INTO A CLOSET, CRY MY EYES OUT AND MAKE ALL THE PAIN STOP._

Something was definitely out of place. Moving the cursor to the gap between Monday and Tuesday, he highlighted that area.

Bingo.

He read the contents of her more 'intimate' diary and…

Haibara… crap.

Quickly reading what was below Tuesday as well, Conan felt like shooting himself. He raced out of the house as fast as he could

"Shoot… Haibara. She wouldn't… suicide?"

* * *

Punching the tree he was leaning on helplessly, Conan cursed the day he was ever born. He panted heavily and crumbled to the ground, exhausted.

He hadn't been able to find Haibara. What if she was dead? It would be his fault. All his fault.

She had injured herself trying to find the antidote to cure **him.** She had been trying to finish a present for **Ran**. She had… he had… and then…

He lowered his head down, gripping a few blades of grass in his hand. Shoot. What should he do?

There was no way he could give up.

Standing up, but immediately falling over towards the tree again, Conan supported himself with one hand. He had overdone it… running all over the city looking for her. Gazing over at the setting sun his breath caught in his throat.

That wasn't… that couldn't be…

He ignored his body's protests and ran in the direction of a small form with auburn hair sitting on the sand, facing the beach.

As he came closer, he noticed that it **was** indeed Haibara, but refrained from calling out to her when he saw the position she was in.

She was hugging her knees and her head was burying her face in her legs, but he could see the clear, smooth line of tears falling down her face.

"Really… you really do like to cry, don't you?" he whispered softly to her as he sat next to her on the sand.

Slowly, her head raised up and she stared at him, shocked, "K-Kudou?"

* * *

**To be Continued…**

Hehehe. Late chapter, late chapter. But I hope you liked it. The Conan/Haibara scenes begin from now on!

Please review!


	5. Never Ever

Disclaimer: Do I look like some detective genius? No? Then Detective Conan doesn't belong to me!

Yah… I kind of have an excuse this time… my old Chinese school teacher just passed away recently… so I just haven't had it in me to write a lot… I tried though, so I hope you won't be disappointed with this chapter.

I decided to give you all a bit more of a sense of a growing… relationship between our two love birds. XD Not so much a serious chapter this time…

Enjoy! By the way, thanks for all the reviews!

**Silent Life**

**Chapter Five**

"K-Kudou?" She whispered.

He smiled before nodding, "Yah… it's me."

Haibara hurriedly whipped her face with her arm, erasing all signs of tears. "Don't kid yourself, what do you mean I like to cry? Just this… just this once doesn't prove anything. How did you find me anyway?" She turned to look at him, the redness in her eyes had vanished, "You're all sweaty… what were you doing?"

Conan resisted the urge to laugh… not only would it seem completely out of place, but also, the mysterious scientist would have been offended by it, "You're trying to change the subject." He pointed out, "I was looking for you. Um… are…?"

He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. Great detective or not, Shinichi was horrible when it came to expressing himself with words… especially with women, "Are you okay now? Would it be ok if I asked what was wrong?"

She rolled her eyes and laid back on the warm sand, toes digging into the beach ground. "You already did. Why were you looking for me? I thought you said something about never speaking to me again earlier… remember? When you were screaming about how great Ran-san is and how I'm… well, not."

He noticed that she had grown even more depressed as she said the last few words. That scared him. Normally, he shouldn't have been able to understand what Haibara was feeling at all. She was always so… cool. It was impossible to decipher whether she was sad or happy… but… now… she seemed so… so… open and… _vulnerable_.

"To tell you the truth, I came to apologize." She looked over at him, surprised.

"Yah… I kind of lost my temper earlier… and honestly, I didn't half the things I said. I'm… sorry?" he cursed himself inside his head as he realized exactly how stupid he sounded while saying that. But a tiny, nearly invisible smile appeared on her face before quickly vanishing.

Crossing her arms, she smirked and taunted, "Oh… the Great Kudou Shinichi _finally_ admitting defeat? I thought I'd never see the day. You… _wrong_?" If it had been any other day, Conan would have winced from the sarcasm and coldness of her words, but today, he was just happy that she seemed like she was acting more like herself.

"Yes, yes… and to further prove how sorry I am… how about we go for ice cream?" he got up, brushing his pants off. "Well?" He offered a hand to her.

"Your treat," she took his hand.

As Conan went to buy the ice cream, Haibara turned her face away from him, so that if he turned around, he wouldn't be able to see the pink stain that had spread across her cheeks. Him buying her a treat… while they were at the _beach_ almost seemed like… a date.

He handed her the cone of vanilla ice cream and the two of them set off, walking along the coastline.

"I didn't know you liked vanilla," he said, breaking the silence. "I don't know… vanilla just doesn't seem like the kind of flavor that would suit you…"

"It's because it's white."

Conan stared at her, confused.

Her blue eyes were fixed on the ground. "It doesn't seem to match me, since it's so white… so pure… and sweet. Ran-san would be more of a vanilla. I would seem more like a… but it doesn't matter. Ice cream in general probably just doesn't seem like something I would enjoy eating, does it? I'm much more of a -"

"A wine. More particularly, Sherry… right?" Conan stuck his hands into his pockets. "Is it that hard for you to let go? Has it-"

"Don't talk as if you know everything." She hissed. "You know _nothing_ of the organization… _nothing_ of what goes on in there. You have no idea." Haibara stared at him icily, "You really shouldn't pry into things like that. _Little boys_ should stay out of it."

He merely shrugged her off. It wasn't as if it was the first time she had tried to warn him away from the Black Organization. He _knew_ they were dangerous… he didn't need her to remind him.

Haibara looked out towards the ocean and sighed. Walking forward, her foot got caught by a rock, sending her toppling towards the ground.

As she prepared for the wet and muddy impact of the beach floor, she gasped as she realized that what she had fallen on was _anything_ but the sand. "K-Kudou!"

In his attempt to catch her and break her fall, he had accidentally gotten pulled down as well. Her breath tickled his face, and the two of them were painfully aware of the incredibly _small_ space separating the two of them.

"W-What are you…" She put her hands below her, trying to push up off of him, but fell back down, since he had forgotten to remove his arms, which were so carefully wrapped around her tiny waist. "Kudou!"

"S-Sorry!" he tried to untangle his arms, but the button on the sleeve of his shirt had caught on the collar of her shirt. Conan leaned forward, trying to see his sleeve, but only succeeded in pulling her even closer and burying her face into his chest. "Hold on a sec, Haibara! I think I've almost got it…"

"Ow! You idiot! You're tugging my hair!" her words were muffled as she shouted into his shirt. "I can't breathe! Get down you-"

It was the first time in all her life that Haibara was glad she made the pill. If she'd been in her normal body… it would have been… she didn't even want to imagine it.

She pushed him down with her arms, but fell on top of him yet again. "Remind me… never to eat ice cream with you again."

A small murmur of "Agreed" came from down below her.

"Really, I never knew were so attracted to me, Kudou-kun. You really just couldn't let go of me," Haibara smirked. "But tell me, exactly _why_ did you eat all the chocolates that you were supposedly going to give _me_ as an apology?" She glared at him menacingly. "And _why_ exactly where you eating them on _my_ table?"

Conan gulped. He couldn't really tell her that he'd been reading her diary. "Um… well you see… I thought I'd wait for you a while… and I was hungry but… uh… I got you flowers!"

He pulled a bouquet roses from behind him, smiling nervously. "Um… sorry…?"

She rolled her eyes and went over to her bed, sitting down on it. "You really are tactless… but thank you." She held the flowers in her hands for a while, staring at them before looking back up at him. "What? You're still here?"

"Uh…" Conan shook himself out of a daze. What's wrong with me? I seem so out of it today… probably just tired from running all over the city.

Haibara looked at him out of the corner of her eye, quietly observing. She got up, "Do you want something to eat? Come on."

He followed her out of her room, and entering the kitchen. "Do you feel like eating some watermelon? I cut some yesterday…" she bent over, looking through the refrigerator, unaware that a certain high school detective had his eyes fixed only on her.

Conan pinched his arm, wincing at first but then calming down. Why was it that he was feeling so nervous and jittery… around _Haibara_?

"Kudou!" she waved a hand in front of his face. "Ran-san isn't here anymore, so why don't you take this to that Mouri. I know you two will be eating ramen otherwise." He looked over to the plate of fried rice in her hands. "I hope its enough… does that Kogoro eat a lot?"

He gave her a lopsided grin, "Yah, but if you fill him up with lots of sake first, he'll pass out before to long, leaving me the rest!" Conan took the plate. "Thanks."

She only nodded at him curtly before reaching back into the fridge and pulling out two slices of watermelon, handing him one of them. "If you two ever run out of food, tell Mouri to drop by or something. Ran-san will kill you two if she finds that all you've been eating is take out and such. Now, wouldn't want to be dead on her first visit home, now would you, Kudou-kun?"

He turned white at the thought of an angry Ran throwing kicks and punches at them for not eating healthily. "Got it. Come over whenever we need normal food."

"Also, make it a point to learn how to cook. I don't know what you did when you were living by yourself before. Did she bring you food _everyday_?"

Biting into his watermelon, Conan thought about how their conversations always seemed to include Ran in it. Did she really have something against his childhood friend? Or was it…

He looked at her for a moment before smiling and shaking his head. Nah… couldn't be.

"Tadaima!"

"Ah! Okaeri nasai, Agasa-hakase. Where were you?" Haibara finished eating, throwing the watermelon skin into the trashcan and walked over to her adoptive father. "Hakase?" She went over to the entrance, ready to scold him for leaving the house without telling her why, but he wasn't there. "Hm?"

"Kudou-kun, have you seen the professor?" she walked back over to the vertically-challenged little boy and crossed her arms. When he answered "no", she raised an eyebrow and said sarcastically, "A bit old to be playing hide-and-seek, isn't he?"

"Hehe. We play hide-and-seek… well, we're forced to. You should humor him a bit more," Conan grinned.

She sighed and went over to the living room, plopping down on a sofa and reading a fashion magazine, "Do you think I'm the type to do _humor_? You can leave once you finish that watermelon."

"Yeesh. Cold."

"Just hurry and eat."

He frowned, but began chewing quickly, nevertheless.

"Oh… I just remembered, maybe he took the car out… I'll go check the garage…" an explosion shook the house. It came from the basement.

Haibara tucked a strand of auburn hair behind her ear, "He probably went straight into the lab… He better not have-"

The lights suddenly turned off, causing Conan to give a little shout. Haibara, however, remained silent, saying nothing.

"Oi… Haibara, you ok? Stay there… I'm going to come over…" he felt his way to the sofa, trying to find her, but instead bumped into something hard – probably the table – and fell over to his left… landing on (guess who?) Haibara, pushing her back into the couch.

He could feel her tense. "KUDOU!"

"Ehehehe… We always seem to be getting into strange positi- ah!"

The lights turned back on, and at the door was the professor, with his hand on the light switch. "Suman, I accidenlty blew the-" He stopped, seeing Conan on top of Haibara.

"Ah! Sorry! I'll just leave…" he began walking very quickly out of the room, his face beet red. "J-Just call me if you need me… um… and… yah… I'll just be going…"

The victims of the APTX 4869 didn't move for a few moments, both wondering why it was that they were having such incredibly bad luck that day.

Conan sighed, "Let me guess, never let you eat watermelon with me again."

"Yah."

**To be continued…**

Yup. There it is… sorry it's kinda short, and don't forget to review! I hoping to update faster now, since my crazy English teacher seems to be giving us a break now…

**REVIEW!**

tadaima – I'm home

okaeri nasai – welcome home

(just in case you forgot) hakase – professor

suman – short for sumimasen… means like sorry or excuse me


	6. The Romance of Sherlock Holmes

Disclaimer: Gosho Aoyoma owns Detective Conan… not me… unfortunately… though I can't see how he'd be very happy coming up with scenarios with people dying constantly. /

So summer is coming and I'll be able to write like crazy soon… last summer I updated **every** **day**. OO That is **amazing** now that I look back on it… but please bear with me… almost there!

**Silent Life**

**Chapter Six**

**----**

**-------**

"We're _what_? Are you sure, Genta?" the disbelief (and slight annoyance) in Conan's voice was not at all hidden, and yet, the slightly… dull boy didn't notice it and merely continued on excitedly.

"Yeah! We're having one of those… cultury festivy things!" Genta jumped up and down, excited.

"Genta-kun! It's a _cultural festival_," Ayumi corrected, placing her hands on her hips. "And sensei said that our class would be doing a play on…"

All three of the detective boys jumped forward, their arms opened up wide, "Sherlock Holmes!"

"Eh!" Conan's jaw dropped, and Haibara stood next to him, trying to keep from laughing out loud. "Sherlock Holmes! Uso!"

**

* * *

Conan's POV **

"Hey… Kudou… you don't suppose… they're serious…?" the auburn-haired girl leaned over, whispering into the young detective's ear. "I mean… this is elementary school… right? I mean… they don't _have_ cultural festivals for elementary schoolers… especially a full… all-out play... but then I wouldn't know… I've never _gone_ to elementary school before… let alone junior high."

Conan leaned over towards Haibara as well, so that their faces nearly touched, never noticing the pink stain growing on her cheeks, "I don't know about the play thing… they might have those… I don't remember. But I'm sure that we don't have cultural festivals…"

"Edogawa-kun! Haibara-san!" the teacher rapped on their connecting desks with her ruler. "While I understand that you two are the top students in this class… (she, however, failed to mention that they were the top students in the _school_)… it does not give you the right to daydream and to flirt while I'm teaching a lesson!"

"… gomen nasai, sensei…" the two students mumbled, bowing their heads, trying their best to actually appear as if they were ashamed of themselves.

Nodding to herself, the teacher turned around and walked back to the front of the room. "Besides," she smiled at the small children in the room. "None of you would want to miss this!" She picked up a large board and set it up onto her desk, standing up, so that the students could see. "Perhaps some of you have heard… for the first time _ever_… elementary schools will be having a mini cultural festival… a joint one to the high school's! Now… won't that be fun?"

And the children replied like children should… "Yay!" "What's a cultry fan?" "Does that mean we'll become movie stars?"

The two… older… children however… sat in their seats, trying not to believe that such an idiotic thing could actually occur… and that they actually had to be… a _part_ of it.

"A cultural festival," the woman began explaining very _carefully_ and _meticulously_ to her students. "Is a sort of big party and presentation that the school gives to parents and other people in the area… it's also a good way to raise money… but you kids don't have to worry about that. Just think of it like… like the spring carnival… except in our school!"

And the innocent children cheered… except for the two, which remain most important.

Haibara and Conan exchanged worried looks.

Conan was about to turn back towards the front to hear what the teacher was saying before he stopped and stared at Haibara. She was now facing the other way, but he continued staring at her side view.

… had she just shown… emotion to him? … _worry_ even?

As if she had read his mind, the wideness of her eyes disappeared instantly, but she kept her gaze focused on the front, not daring to look at him. The surprised 'o' of her mouth creased into the passive yet cold line that was commonly seen on her face, and even the warm air around her seemed to cool off a little as she slowly regained her composure.

… and he found himself disappointed by the fact that he no longer had access to viewing some of her emotions…. For just a minute… he could understand her… even if only a little.

"Looks like Yoshida-san, Mitsuihiko, and Genta-kun were correct… look," she raised a small, slender finger, and it pointed at the large board the teacher had placed on the table. Conan's eyes followed Haibara's finger and continued on in the same direction until they fell onto the large and evil smile on the teacher's face.

"_We_, class, will be doing an extremely _important_ part of the festival… we will be doing a play…" the woman stopped, pausing to take a breath and build tension. "On Sherlock Holmes… with a twist, of course!" The teacher winked…

And the children cheered.

And Conan and Haibara… both smacked their heads on their desks at the same time… both resulting in a rather large bump (Conan's slightly larger than Haibara's), and both of them being, once again, reprimanded by the teacher.

"Really…" she put her hands on her hips. "What has gotten into the two of you today… this will be your last warning, Haibara-san, Edogawa-kun."

"Hai… sensei…"

The teacher shook her head before returning to her table and pointing at the board. "See this, class? I've covered the names at the top with a strip of paper, but this is the way that we're going to decide roles in the play!" She laughed maniacally before pointing at the bottom of the board. "This is where each of you put your names… and the lines in the middle will connect them to another name on top… that way, none of you will know what role you get! But don't worry… you'll have plenty of time to practice your lines… the festival isn't until June!"

And the children "Ooohed and Aaahed…"

The two 'children' in question… groaned. They exchanged looks as if complaining to each other. "Next _June_? That's six months away… how long is this going to take?"

"Now each of you come up here… and write your name down. Starting with… Ayumi-chan… now Genta-kun… Mitsuhiko-kun… Renna-chan… Reika… Haibara-san… Conan-kun…"

Conan smirked inwardly as he noted how even the teacher call Haibara "Haibara-san". Such a term of respect for a young child could only be given to someone as… sophisticated and… cool as Haibara.

They returned from writing their names on the board of doom and sat quietly in their seats… as if sensing, with dread, what role they would be given.

"Since we'll be playing the story… A Scandal in Bohemia, there will be three main characters… the famous detective, Sherlock Holmes, the beautiful opera singer, Irene Adler, and, of course, Dr. Watson," the teacher smiled at the class before bending down and slowly stripping the piece of paper with the character names under it off.

"I don't see why you don't the like the idea of being a part of this play… you _are_ a fan of Sherlock Holmes?" Haibara's voice ground against the inner cogs of his mind. In short, her sarcasm was getting to him.

Conan turned to respond when he heard the teacher speak.

"Oh! How fitting… our very own detective… Conan-kun will be playing Sherlock Holmes!"

He was torn between being happy… and crying because of the unfairness of it all. _He_ had to play the main character in an _elementary_ school play?

"But then again… you _are_ Japan's very own Sherlock Holmes, right, Kudou?" she smirked. "It's not as if you-"

The teacher's voice once again interrupted their conversation. "Ah! And look at this… Haibara-san will make a wonderful opera singer!"

The tiny girl froze. Slowly… ever so slowly… she turned to face the front of the room, her eyes fixing upon the big, bold letters of **Irene Adler** at the top… with a line connecting her name to it.

Veins began forming on her head as she heard Conan desperately try to suppress his laughter.

"Oh… and the 'twist' we'll be putting into this will be… that Sherlock Holmes and Irene Adler fall in love! Won't that be interesting?"

The girls sighed happily… the boys groaned… but Conan and Haibara…

"This can not… be happening."

* * *

**Haibara's POV**

"Oi… Haibara! … Haibara!" (Didn't think I'd let it end there, did you? XD)

"What. Is. It?" she turned and stared piercingly at him. Each one of her words were stressed, and carried a non-all-too friendly edge to them. Apparently, what had happened earlier in class today… was all his fault?

He shrugged and began walking beside her. Answering her questioning gaze, he sighed, "I asked hakase to recharge my skateboard."

The glare on her face began fading, and her mouth dipped into a small frown, but Conan took no notice of this. The lively flush of her cheeks also disappeared into nothingness… she was once again the pale, cool, emotionless ex-Black Organization member she normally was… but Conan didn't notice.

But then again… its not as if he _ever_ notices…

"I can't believe that we have to do a play _and_ a movie version of Sherlock Holmes… that blasted woman even altered the story! How dare she ruin Doyle's wonderful masterpiece!" he grumbled as the two of them walked towards Haibara's home. She may only have been living there for a little over a year… but it was still home to her.

Of course… Sir Arthur Conan Doyle… Sherlock Holmes… his idol would have him more preoccupied than I would…

As soon as the thought entered Haibara's mind she felt like slapping herself. Since when had she become a lovesick good-for-nothing? She may no longer be a part of the deadly band of criminals, but she _still_ had her pride.

"Hey Kudou…" she stopped walking, causing him to pause and turn back towards her in slight confusion.

Conan raised one of his eyebrows and stared hard at the girl… no… the woman in front of him. "Yes?"

"I… I need to tell you something…"

"Haibara…?"

"I… I…"

…..

* * *

**

* * *

To be Continued… **

Yes… Conan/Haibara fans eat your hearts out… things are beginning to heat up. (finally) But yet, you can come track me down and murder me in my sleep since I left you like that. Guess what Haibara's going to do? She's on the verge of telling him something **very** important. XD

I wrote a longer chapter than normal to make up for the late update… wait two more weeks guys! Summer is coming and I'll have nothing but writing fanfiction to do!

REVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!

* * *

uso - in this case, "you're lying"

hakase - professor


	7. Wrong with Me

**Disclaimer: DC does _not_ belong to me. XD**

Thank you everyone who took the time to find out why I hadn't updated in such a long time. I had addressed this in my profile, and for those who did not get a chance to look, there, I asked for a two week break since a close friend and brother of mine recently passed away.

Just a note, but I completely revised Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's work "A Scandal in Bohemia"… I think it was. The one with Irene Alder. XP My apologies, but I did it to suit my fancy… and for it to fit my fanfic.

I hope you enjoy this chapter… it's not really up to my usual standard though.

* * *

**Silent Life**

**Chapter Seven**

-----

"I…I…"

"Haibara?" Conan stared at her inquisitively. "What's wrong?"

She turned and glared at him, "I think this idea of a school play… is great. I'd rather you not keep trashing it…" the auburn haired girl began walking forward. "If you are going to continue to complain about how childish it is, I'd prefer that you take a different route to hakase's house. I don't need a whining baby following me around… especially one who doesn't realize how lucky he is to be able to have had such childhood memories."

Ouch. The miniature Kudou Shinichi winced. He had forgotten that she hadn't led a normal life growing up… it really hadn't occurred to him that this could be important to her… a chance to relive the life she never had. "I'm sorry," he smiled and shrugged at a surprised Haibara who had stopped to turn and stare at him. "I wasn't thinking… I guess I shouldn't be complaining… it _is_ a Sherlock Holmes story – no matter how altered it is."

For the first time ever, Conan noticed the tiny blush lighting across her cheeks. His eyes opened wide as he observed the shy nod of her head and the silent appreciation in her eyes.

"Thank you…" she whispered to herself. "Thank you for understanding."

Although those words were meant only for her to hear, Conan took in every single one of them… and as something turned in his stomach, a new fluttering of emotions began to tickle his heart, causing a small blush of his own to darken his face.

"What… is going on with me?" he mused as he caught up with Haibara and walked down the street with her.

* * *

The next morning, the ever-popular and mysterious Conan and Haibara were all that was talked about in Tanaka-sensei's class. (Someone _please_ let me know their teacher's **real** name!) The two of them were welcomed into the school like a pair of celebrities… word of them being cast into the two main roles of the school play was… traveling quite quickly.

The way the minds of young, elementary-school children works in a way unique to what the world would call "normal." All of them seemed fascinated that someone in their school would be performing a play… just like the "big kids" in front of so many people at the fair.

"Haibara-san! Can I have your autograph?"

"Conan-kun! Do you think you could-" "No! I want to ask him first!"

"Haibara-san! I love you!"

Even their teacher seemed extremely engaged in their new "activity". "I've already gotten the scripts all made… I want the both of you to memorize them as well as possible, okay? Go over to each other's houses, follow each other around, move in together…" Tanaka-sensei's eyes gleamed. "Whatever it takes for you two to get your parts down perfectly!"

"You'd think that she was talking to professionals… not a few elementary school kids…" Conan whispered to Haibara, and she nodded in agreement. To his surprise – and the surprise of everyone else – she took his hand and led him out of the room.

He didn't resist, for reasons unbeknownst to himself, but it may have been the fact that he was too busy thinking about how soft and small her hands were. The students and teacher stared at them as the two of them descended the stairs and went out into the playground.

"What are you doing?" Conan asked, upon regaining his senses. "Why aren't we in class?"

"How can we rehearse lines with all that noise? The teacher gave us the lines… she won't object to us practicing… that's what she told us to do," Haibara crossed her arms. "Unless you'd rather not practice with me."

Conan gulped. It was that tone… he recognized that tone of voice… his mother and Ran had both used it… the tone that all women used when scaring men into doing what they want… just by changing the pitch of their voice. He sat down under the tree obediently and opened the script book. It meant death if he refused her.

"Let's see… we'll just start from where we both speak at the same time…" she ran her finger down the page. "…there. Page twenty… line seven."

"Now look here Watson," he read aloud. "See this dark and dreary street? This elusive Irene Alder lives in one of these homes. Even now, she may very well- there she is! Hurry, you go find which house she is in… that'd be whichever is empty at this late hour. I'll follow her."

"Skip Watson part…" Haibara mumbled. "Who are you?" she whispered. "Another one of the king's men? Come to take back what is rightfully mine? Men who work for such a cold-hearted person are dull… either that, or are equally stripped of morale. Such people are not worth my time. Speak quickly! Who are you?"

Her words left Conan breathless. Haibara was a _great_ actress. "You're good," he grinned.

Poking him with her script, the scientist rolled her eyes, "You're required to be a good liar when you're a part of an organization that deals in every possible illegal activity known to man. It's your line."

"Ah… Madam," Conan's voice was husky. "I am not what you would call one of your king's 'men'. Merely, someone who wishes to see justice done… the ending of a treaty between two countries does not seem very warm-hearted to me."

Blue eyes fixing onto the tiny print of the script, Haibara spoke, "Fair enough. Then I'll just say that this is for my revenge. Mine own. What will you do to stop me? If what you are after is the photograph… then do you think that it belongs to the king? It is my property… and at least twenty of the most clever thieves in Europe have come for it, is this what you would call justice?"

"I would not call it justice… but merely steps that must be taken in order to ensure that a war will not break out between these nations. If you only mean to have this picture as a memory… a keepsake, per say, then I would not take it from you." He raised an eyebrow. "Yet you have threatened to give this to the media…"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"A sound is heard from the buildings and Irene is instantly tense," a young brunette child by the name of Yumi read out loud. "Some lights go on in the rooms above."

"I have committed no crime… yet I should be taking my leave," Haibara turned to Conan. "Tell me, what is your name?"

He gave a small bow and a coyish smile was present on his face, "Sherlock Holmes, madam."

Straightening up, Haibara ran a hand through her hair and brushed her clothes off. "Mr. Holmes, then, I've heard about you from some of my friends. Good luck finding a way to take that photograph away from me… in fact, I invite the challenge." Giving him a small curtsy of her own, she smirked back at him. "Until we meet again."

"Um… here you disappear into the darkness of the streets and-" Yumi began.

"I told you only to read the highlighted parts!" Tanaka-sensei strode over to the young girl who had been assigned the role of narrator. "You better practice, Yumi-chan."

Bowing her head slightly and pouting, Yumi nodded, "Hai…"

Tanaka-sensei turned towards the two leads her class play, "You two are brilliant! My goodness… sometimes I have a hard time believe you children are really only in elementary school! This is going to be as good… no, I'll see to it that it's even better than any high school play!"

Both laughing nervously as their teacher continued to ramble on about how wonderful the festival would be, they discreetly grabbed their school bags before running out of the classroom as the bell rang.

"Geez… she's a woman possessed," Conan groaned, scratching his head frustratedly.

Haibara only smiled as she fastened the backpack strap to her shoulder and continued walking by his side. "But it was fun… not having to listen to one of her mundane and repetitive lessons. Instead we talked about your favorite topic all day long." She winked at him. "Sherlock Holmes, right?"

It was that feeling again. Conan fought to his face from turning a bright red. Why? He looked at her and smiled back. What is this? What's wrong with me?

"Kudou-kun… hey…. Kudou-kun!" Conan snapped back to attention as Haibara began waving her hand in front of his face. "What's wrong?"

The concern in her voice made him blush… again. "N-Nothing," he brushed her hand off gently. "Let's go… I need to ask hakase to fix my tranquilizer watch… well, just give it more needles."

Grinning at him, Haibara nodded, "Okay… how about we rehearse some more? We only read through one or two scenes."

Conan merely stared at her.

"What is it? Do I have a bug on my nose?"

"You look… beautiful when you smile." As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt like smacking himself on the face.

Since when had he started to use the word 'beautiful'? Even in reference to Ran, he had always called her 'pretty'.

The pink hue of her cheeks was apparent, and it took her a full three seconds to regain her composure. As if finally realizing that she had been acting very un-Haibara-ish, the smile on her face slowly slid down until it was a cool, emotionless line again, and the shining of her eyes dimmed so that she looked almost distracted.

"Thank you," She said it in a way that sent shivers up Conan's spine. "We should get going now."

"Yeah…"

* * *

What's wrong with me…? Since when have I become so desperate that I resort to flirting with a boy who's already been taken? Since when I have begun to let my guard down?

Haibara cursed herself as she pulled her pajamas on. "Stupid… I did it twice… _again_ when we were reading our lines in the living room."

Flopping down onto her bed and staring up at the dark ceiling she silently wished that her sister was next to her. "Onee-chan… what are the feelings inside of me… even when I had… with Shuichi… these emotions never… it was…"

"Shuichi…" she breathed. "Damn… how is it that I still think about that idiot… that…"

Haibara got up and walked over to her desk. Pressing a button underneath the rim of the table, she pulled open the small drawer that popped out. "Idiot…" she slid the top-most photograph from its resting place and looked at the man in the picture."

"I wonder…" Haibara ran a finger along the curve of his face. "I wonder of you would be jealous… if you would even care that my heart now has room for a man other than yourself."

With a small laugh, she threw the picture back down and shut the small drawer abruptly. "Probably not. But then you never really cared, did you? All of it was for your precious FBI…"

As tears started trickling slowly down from her eyes, she curled into a tiny ball and buried her face into her knees, "Kudou-kun was right." She sobbed. "I _do_ like to cry…"

"Onee-chan…" her sniffles echoed quietly in the dark room. "Onee-chan…!"

----

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--------------

---------

----

**To be Continued…**

I hope this chapter was satisfactory, since I'm still not really in the right mood yet. Please don't forget to review!


	8. We're Dating?

**Disclaimer: Detective Conan is not my property… nor are any of the characters in it.**

Sorry for the long wait, but hey, I updated. Hope you enjoy this chapter… I kind of like it. xD My grandparents are over from Taiwan, so I'll be pretty busy now-a-days.

The italics in the chapter would signify a _dream_. Just to be perfectly clear, okay:-)

**Silent Life**

**Chatper Eight**

---

---

"_You **lied** to me? Everything you said was worth… it meant **nothing** to you?" Shiho looked away from a dark-haired man blankly. Her eyes watered slightly, though she would never allow herself to cry._

_Never cry. Tears are a sign of emotion. Emotion is the equivalent of weakness. _

_Shuichi stood there, motionless. There was pain on his face, but he seemed to have come to terms with his… reality. Grabbing the scientist and pulling her into one last hug, he whispered into her ear. "You lied to me too, Shiho. Now that I have this job… this FBI… I'm going to have to let go of **you**."_

"_Sacrifices are necessary when one wants to achieve 'true happiness', right?" She pushed away from her boyfriend… her ex-boyfriend. "Since I'm obviously the sacrifice, why don't you take it a step further? You chose your new job over me… why don't you give yourself a big promotion on the first day?" Turning her head so that she was gazing at him over her shoulder, Shiho smirked. "Why don't you just turn me in… I'm sure it'd make no difference to you." Her smirk faltered for a moment, and the lines of her mouth dipped into a small, hurting line. "I would never deny you anything that would give you true happiness."_

_Her last words were said in a tiny whisper, but Shuichi heard them. Casting one final look at the woman he loved, he walked away, hand clenched in a fist. "I trust, Shiho," he smiled. "That'll you'll change someday… and you'll come back to me… and do the right thing."_

The right thing…

Miyano Shiho… Haibara Ai sat up in bed, breathing heavily. The first thought to register in her mind was that she was completely covered in sweat – at this she scrunched her nose up in disgust. But the second thought was that she had dreamed about Shuichi… something she hadn't thought about in a long time.

"I thought I was over him…" she whimpered, before biting her lip harshly for becoming so silly. Whimpering was almost as bad as crying… and apparently she had done that as well, in her sleep.

Noticing the light outlining the curtains, Haibara got up and walked over to her window, pulling aside the drapes. She winced as the sun – in all its bulky glory – pierced her vision. "Damn it…. Looks like another long day."

---------

"Oi… Haibara," Conan fell into step next to the sleepy girl. "Where you crying again?"

The yawn stopped mid-breath. "No. I didn't, as a matter of fact. Why do you ask? Redness of the eyes is a common trait when one doesn't sleep very well," she yawned again.

"You seem more depressed today," he shrugged. "I was just a little worried. Why aren't you getting enough sleep?"

Rolling her eyes, the small girl ran her hand through her hair carelessly before plastering a smile on her face. "Did you pester Ran-san like this as well? I don't think I'm acting any different than usual… those bunch are usually the first to notice anyway… they watch the two of us like a hawk," Haibara jutted her thumb in the direction of the detective boys.

Not fooled, Conan frowned and peered at her with a concerned look on his face, causing a small, pink stain to heat her cheeks, "What happened, Ai?"

She forced her blush down and looked over at him casually,"I thought that men were clueless to the emotions of women. When we say that we're fine… even though we're not, don't you boys normally just take that as the final answer and-"

Her face lit up a pink brighter than Ayumi's Halloween princess dress. "What did you just call me?"

"Ah… nothing! Nothing!" Conan held his hands in front of him, trying to find an excuse for his… sudden feeling of closeness towards the small scientist… and also trying to hide the blush tickling his own cheeks.

Their friends rushed at the two of them, each with a different reaction. Ayumi was upset that the two of them were 'flirting', Mitsuiko was concerned that perhaps Haibara had caught the cold that was going around (thus causing the redness of face), and Genta was… well, Genta was reminded by their blushes of the color of cherries… which made him extremely hungry.

It was true though. Conan stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked to school without another word, noticing the cautious looks Haibara sent in his direction every now and then between breaths as she tried fending off the detective boys.

By all the looks of it, Haibara was in an excellent mood. She had the humor to put up with elementary school children that day, was smiling every once in a while… and was even teasing him less than usual but…

"There's still something wrong," he mumbled missing the alarmed look on the woman in question's face as she picked up on his quiet words.

As they stepped into the classroom and took their seats, Conan realized one last thing that troubled him.

She was right about that too. I **don't** pester Ran this much… even when I'm worried. How is it that I can tell that something is wrong with Ai? … why am I calling her Ai! Something is making Haibara unhappy… but she's normally always depressed. How is it that suddenly I can tell when something is _really_ hurting her? When did…

He found his hand sliding nearer to hers on their adjoined desks.

When did I suddenly feel so close… so comfortable with the person who created APTX?

----------

"Kudou-kun… pst! Kudou!" Haibara hissed at him. "Wake up! You can let go of my hand now!"

"Eh?" The noise that emitted from his mouth was uncharacteristically loud, and it caught the attention of everyone else in the room – including the teacher.

Swiftly removing his seatmate's small hand from his own, he scratched his head nervously, "Eh… sensei… can you repeat that last part? I didn't really get it…"

Haibara looked him over carefully for a moment as the teacher sighed and turned to the board, going over the fundamentals of multiplication for a second time. Allowing a small smirk to appear on her face, she whispered, "Something bother you, Kudou-kun?"

Conan glared at her, realizing that she was mocking him for what he had done earlier.

"Daydreaming about the person you like in class isn't exactly the best way to make a good impression on others… and look." She nodded her head in the direction of Ayumi, Genta, and Mitsuiko. "They've already begun to notice that something is amiss. Even _they_ know you don't have problems with such simple mathematics."

"Oh be quiet," he grumbled, crossing his arms and slumping back into his chair. "Being stuck in this school for a second time is fun enough without you adding to it."

But he hadn't been dreaming about _Ran_… he had been dreaming about _her_….

He saw the flash of uncertainty passing through her eyes as she looked down before leaning back in her chair, mimicking his defeated posture.

She smiled at him, "I guess we're pretty similar… we both have the people we like on our minds. Don't ask, Kudou-kun. You were holding my hand like you were afraid you'd lose something while you were napping during the lecture. Whatever's on your mind must be very important to you… and I'm guessing it's Ran."

"I didn't sleep well last night since I dreamt about someone who's important to me as well…" Haibara gave him a grin. "We have more in common than I thought, I guess."

A twist in his stomach caused him to sit up straight. "So… who's this guy you like?"

"Why do you ask?" She was surprised that he even bother to ask. The Edogawa Conan… no, the Kudou Shinichi she knew didn't usually pry into things that didn't concern him… unless, of course, it involved a murder mystery.

No way was he going to tell her that he was suddenly… protective, was it?

"It's nothing… just curious."

Haibara's gaze lingered on him for a few more seconds before turning towards the teacher in the front of the room. "I see."

"Haibara-san! Conan-kun! What are the two of you talking about?" They both ducked their heads as their teacher swung her notebook over the area where their heads would have been.

Smiling innocently, Haibara opened her mouth to make an excuse, but Conan beat her to it. "We were just discussing…" he laughed loudly. "The study date the two of us were going to have to help us practice for the festival! Right, Ai?"

She stared up at him, mouth still open, but nodded mutely, the look in her eyes blank. "Sure…"

He had called her 'Ai' again.

"Don't forget!" he continued. "Eight o'clock sharp on Saturday! OK?"

Conan wanted to slap himself. While everything else was going as planned – he had gotten Haibara to agree to go with him on his 'date' _and_ had gotten the teacher to forgive them and start going off onto the subject of preparing for the play – he had called her 'Ai' again. That had not been intentional… and the blush on his face proved it.

But… he couldn't help but smile as he sat back down at the fact that there was a pink hue to her cheeks as well.

* * *

"Well… that was certainly awkward in there. What are you up to?" she looked at him out of the corner of her eye. 

"Nothing," Conan grinned. He wasn't giving way to any questions that day.

His path was soon blocked, though, by a group of three angry children. Actually… two angry children and one confused one. (Need I explain?)

"CONAN-KUN!" Ayumi whined. "Why are you going on a study _date_ with Ai-chan? I want to go too!"

Mitsuiko had him backed up onto the wall, and upon noticing Ayumi's actions, Genta was beginning to become angry as well. "Since when do you call Haibara-san **Ai**! I thought only _Ayumi_ could call her that… what have the two of you been up to?"

"Don't be silly Mitsuiko-kun," Haibara came up next to Conan and linked his arm with hers. "Did we forget to tell you?" She smiled coyly at the confused detective. "He's my boyfriend now." ( Today really is the day for bold actions.)

"**WHAT!**" all three of them shouted at once. Haibara had been smart… she had plugged her ears as soon as she saw their mouths open, but since her arm was intertwined with Conan's she ended up pulling him closer to her and not giving him a chance to try and save his own eardrums… which were, in the process of everything that had occurred, nearly shattered.

"B-But…" Tears began forming in Ayumi's eyes and Mitsuiko was at a loss for words. Genta was… well, Genta.

Scratching his head he put his hand to his chin and thought for a very long time, "Hm…"

Haibara rolled her eyes and decided to make it easier on his brain. "The two of us are **dating**. D-A-T-I-N-G."

The two of them left the detective boys standing there, still trying to process the information they had just been bombarded with.

Smirking and tossing her hair, Haibara hugged Conan's arm even harder before releasing him and regaining a polite distance between their two bodies. "So? How was that?"

"How was **what**?" he stared at her. "You just… what the… I'm…"

"Confused?" she cut short his outbursts. "If you're going to make up a study _date_… I decided that I also wanted to have a little fun… just a small something to shake things up."

Haibara let a smile press onto her face as she watched the boy next to her walk along the sidewalk, still a bit dazed.

I just noticed… she observed his every movement.

I just noticed that… this boy… this silly detective… made me forget about Shuichi… made me feel better for the entire day.

* * *

"Hey… how long are you going to sleep?" Conan sat on his 'girlfriend's' bed lazily, whacking at the pillow covering her head. "Wake up already!" 

Some soft mumbling could be heard from under the masses of cushions, but soon the phrase "Just one more minute Onee-chan" was shouted. Eyes narrowing sadly, Conan sighed and shook the sleeping girl awake.

"Get up! You s-" the rest of his words were muffled by a pillow slammed onto his face. "Mfgraadig!"

"Is it customary for you _normal_ Japanese school boys to go barging into their _female_ classmate's rooms?" Haibara sat up in bed grumpily. "What are you doing here anyway?"

Conan pulled the pillow of his face and looked her over. Though her hair was messy and her eyes seemed hazy she still looked pretty good. Sexy, even, with her nightdress clinging to her body. (At this he had to pretend to sneeze in order to hide his embarrassment)

"Did you forget our study date?" he grinned at her. "It's eight right now."

"Eight… study date…" she rubbed her eyes. "… hold on… **What!**"

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**To Be Continued…**

I kind of like this chapter… what do you all think? xD

* * *

Sensei - teacher 


	9. What Is This?

**Disclaimer: I own DC! I wish. xD**

So… I know it took me a while, but I finally updated… and I think this chapter is still kind of crappy… I kind of ran out of ideas in the middle.

As or my late update, I pray that you'll forgive me.. high school is more difficult that I had expected… well the homework is, anyway.

This is the only song I don't credit to the author inside of the story, so "First Love" is strictly property of Utada Hikaru. Not me.

**Silent Life**

**Chapter Nine**

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"I can't believe you're serious about this… this doesn't even count as studying… it's just reading off lines that we memorized weeks ago," Haibara yawned.

Conan rolled his eyes and took a sip of his coffee, "Don't complain. I bought you coffee _and_ a slice of cheesecake… it's not as if I get a large allowance as an eight year old. Besides, it was your idea to tell those kids that we were _dating_." He said the last words with a little shudder, causing the woman sitting across from him to look down quietly before taking a bite of the cake.

"The cake _is_ good," her voice was neutral. "And it _was_ worth it to see the waiter's face when you ordered coffee for the both of us."

"See? Now stop complaining and start rehearsing," he opened his script book and took another gulp of coffee.

Haibara almost laughed at the sight. A small boy wearing a suit like outfit (the one Conan always wears) drinking coffee. "I get it," she teased. "You _haven't_ memorized your lines, have you? Do you have _trouble_ with stuff like this, Mr. Sherlock Holmes?"

He glared at her, but did nothing more than grumble about annoying women on their periods. Again, she almost laughed… what eight year old child had her period? Deciding to take pity on him, she opened her script and read aloud, "So we meet again, Mr. Holmes. I don't suppose you're here just because you missed me." Her tone fit her character. Sarcastic.

"Unfortunately, you're only half correct. True, I _do_ have some business with you… but I also was hoping to see you again."

"Oh?" She paused to take a drink from her coffee. "Mmm… that hits the spot… um… Oh… really?"

"Will you _please_ at least **try** to put some feeling into this?" he buried his hands in his face. "I really need to practice."

She regarded him silently. What was going on with him? Why the sudden change of attitude? Why was he so desperate… he's not a bad actor, I know that for a fact. "Let me guess… Ran-_nee-chan_ coming to see this play?"

Bingo.

Conan turned beet red and looked down at his reflection in the coffee. "MmHmm…"

"Fine then," he looked up at her, surprised as she took a deep breath and began once again. "So… we meet again, Mr. Sherlock Holmes. I don't suppose you've come here just because you missed me." Her eyes were lidded and her tone was a mix of sarcastic wit and hushed urgency.

He gaped at her for a few seconds. Her renewal of vigor and sudden determination was great… but most of all… Haibara was just _good_… but he continued nonetheless. "You are half correct," he gave her a sly smile. "I do have some _other_ business to attend to here… but I have been hoping to see _you_ again as well."

"Oh… really…?" Haibara broke their stare and looked away from him, both shy and disappointed. "But I suppose it doesn't matter. Have you come to lock me up for blackmailing the king? Or… I can assure you that I had only that one photo… of us ever being together…" she whispered the last part of the sentence, and bit her lip, as if struggling with something inside of her.

"Um…" Conan reddened once again. "This is the part where we-"

Haibara brought her face forward and placed her lips gently against his.

Conan's eyes were wide. Hers were shut. But he didn't pull away, instead he slowly began to shut his own eyes… only halfway, and they stayed like that together for a few seconds until some people around them began to take notice.

It was Haibara who pulled away first, but it was Conan who took the initiative and spoke, "No!" he stammered, still blushing. "T-That's not how it works. I-I… I mean, Holmes was the one who was supposed to his Irene Alder… not the other way around." Haibara decided not to meet his eye and instead looked down, a pink stain spreading across her cheeks as well.

"What? You want to do it over again?" she sighed when he merely looked down and said nothing. "I think that's enough practicing for one day. You're a good actor… you won't let _her_ down."

Between them… or maybe at least to Haibara, _her_ always meant… Ran.

Ignoring the squeeze of pain in her heart, she stood. "Don't look so surprised, it's as if you've never been kissed before," her tease was not heartfelt, and it seemed as if Conan realized it too, because he also stood and took her by the hand.

"Actually… I haven't," he grinned sheepishly. Haibara only nodded to acknowledge his words, her entire focus was on their intertwined hands, and she looked up at him, questioningly.

"Ah…" he let go over her hand reluctantly… it had felt nice holding her hand… "I was wondering, do you feel up to a date?"

She merely stared.

"Ah! What I mean is," he looked around for an excuse, but found none. "Er… I mean, you told everyone we were dating… might as well go on a date. A first date." He smiled at her, and, not knowing why, wished with all his heart that she would agree.

Haibara eyed the half-eaten cheesecake on the table and sat back down in the seat, "Well…" she took a small bite. "You know, if you don't plan on continuing this silly little charade, we could simply tell them that it was… a dare. I honestly don't expect you to take me out on dates… don't feel responsible for doing that. I'm not some lovesick teenager like _someone _is."

Choosing to say nothing about her last implication, Conan shrugged, "The truth is, I just want to get to know you better." When didn't offer up a sarcastic remark, he continued. "I mean, we _are_ friends now… right?"

No longer enemies, you mean. But you're wrong Kudou… I'm still Sherry… Sherry will haunt me for the rest of my life… whether I want to be a part of her or not.

"Fine. Where did you want to go?"

* * *

"You can't possibly be serious," she crossed her arms as they sat down on the sofa of… a karaoke room. "And what are _they_ doing here?"

"You know as well as I do," Conan sighed. "They saw us going in… and followed."

Ayumi, Genta, and Mitsuiko flipped through the list of songs excitedly.

"Mitsuiko-kun! What do you want to sing first?"

"I think you should sing first, Ayumi-chan. You have such a pretty voice."

"I agree with Genta-kun!"

"But…" the three of them chimed in in unison. "Conan-kun should _never_ sing!" And they gleefully went back to their business, with Ayumi casting looks at Conan every once and awhile, and Mistuiko eyeing Haibara shyly.

She ran a hand through her blond her and leaned back into the soft, blue cushioning of the chair. "I am also surprised as to your choice of our… date. I thought you detested singing."

"I don't hate it…" he grumbled. "I'm just really bad at it."

Haibara resisted the urge to laugh. As satisfying as it would have been to keep on teasing and beating on the genius detective the entire day, she would rather just relish the moment. The first… and probably the **only** date she would ever have with _him_.

"Ai-chan!" Ayumi giggled, running over to her. "You should sing too!"

Not sure whether or not Ayumi was trying to embarrass her as revenge for 'dating' Conan, or whether the girl was simply a saint, Haibara declined. "No thank you… I'll just watch."

"Hey! I spent good money getting us into here… you better sing. That's why I asked you to come here in the first place. Plus… this is the nice kind of karaoke house… they even grade you on your singing," Conan frowned, placing his hands on his hips… acting like the eight-year-old he looked like.

She said nothing in response, and watched as the detective boys sang the theme song to "Meitantei Conan"… for which they received a five out of a possible ten on the grade scale.

Ayumi sang "I'm Dreaming of You" by Selena:

"… and there's no place I'd rather be…

than here in my room…

dream with you, can this be!

Oh… I'm dreaming… of you tonight…

'til tomorrow… and for all of our lives!"

And, of course, she sang all of this while staring at Conan. Her gaze didn't budge, and it succeeded in getting the poor boy to become extremely nervous. In the end, he managed to give her a shaky smile, which she took as a sign that he would most likely as _her_ to be his girlfriend soon, and promptly seated herself between Haibara and Conan. She squealed with delight when he singing received a seven point five.

Mitsuiko and Genta sang a duet of "Bloody Venus" while glaring at an uneasy Conan (Haibara was laughing quietly to herself), and, to everyone's surprise, (not) received a three.

Conan's dark eyes widened in surprise as Haibara stood and made her way to the stage. His gaze followed her small figure as she silently ordered a song and raised the microphone to her lips. The background music came on as a soft piano… and she sang…

"Saigo no kisu wa tabako no flavor ga shita  
Nigakute setsunai kaori

Ashita no imagoro ni wa  
Anata wa doko ni irundarou  
Dare wo omotterundarou

You are always gonna be my love  
Itsuka darekato mata koi ni ochitemo  
I'll remember to love you taught me how  
You are always gonna be the one  
Ima wa mada kanashii love song  
Atarashi uta utaeru made

Tachidomaru jikan ga  
Ugoki dasouto shiteru  
Wasureta kunai kotobakari

Ashita no imagoro niwa  
Watashi wa kitto naiteru  
Anatawo omotterundarou

You will always be inside my heart  
Itsumo anata dake no basho ga aru kara  
I hope that I have a place in your heart too  
Now and forever you are still the one  
Ima wa mada kanashii love song  
Atarashii uta utaeru made

You are always gonna be my love  
Itsuka darekato mata koi ni ochitemo  
I'll remember to love you taught me how  
You are always gonna be the one  
Mada kanashii love song  
Now and forever."

No one seemed to notice as she finished the song, but a small tear ran down her cheeks. Conan wasn't sure if it had been present. Ayumi's desperate attempt to shield his eyes from Haibara's high score of a nine point nine out of ten (he wondered why she didn't get a ten… she deserved it) kept him from being positive, but he _had_ been able to tell… while Haibara had been singing, that she was singing to someone… about someone… and he felt a pang of jealousy in his heart.

His first thought was…

Who did she love?

His second thought was…

Her singing is the most beautiful thing I have heard my entire life. Two Mix didn't stand a chance.

"Ai… that was…" he whispered.

She looked away from him, unable to meet his gaze.

He stood, almost pushing Ayumi off of him, and would have gone over to Haibara, but the door opened and a worker stepped in.

"Yoshida-sama? Mitsuiko-sama? You both have calls up front."

Reluctantly, the two children left the room before reentering and announcing that their parents wanted them home. Not wanting to be left behind, Genta followed them, leaving Haibara and Conan alone in the room.

"We're alone now… aren't we?" Conan wanted to punch himself for stating something so ridiculously obvious.

"Hn…"

"Hey…" he began again. "That was really very pretty, Haibara… the score board agrees with me as well."

She still wasn't looking at him, and it was driving him insane. He wanted to… he wanted to walk over there…to do something he would before have only dreamt of doing to Ran… he wanted to kiss her sweet lips again… he wanted to…

"Do you think you could teach me how to sing?"

At this, she finally looked at him. "You called me Ai."

"Can I… call you that? … and you're avoiding the question," he crossed his fingers, praying that she wouldn't leave… he desperately wanted to get to know her better… though he didn't know why.

She regarded him silently before nodding, "Call me Ai… call me Shiho… it doesn't matter. As for singing lessons… do you really think you're up to it?" She seemed to have recovered from her bout of nervousness and sarcasm dripped from her words like they usually would have.

"Shiho… I like that."

She blushed.

"J… Just get over here," she turned and ordered another song. "This is… I Want to Communicate With Your True Self."

(For those that don't know, that was a song that song was in an episode of Detective Conan.)

"For starters… just hum along to the tune… slowly, don't worry about keeping up, just hum whatever you can…"

And, of course, he was the exact opposite of Haibara. For his terrible humming, he received a zero.

"Fine… just try and hum along to the tune that I sing then," she sighed.

"La… I love you more… no! stop! Listen carefully. The tone starts a little lower… try and sing the 'I'."

"Okay… just a little lower… you've got it!" she smiled, and he smiled as well. "Now try it again…. okay.. now let's move on… try 'love'… a bit higher… no… not that high… got it!"

Taking a deep breath, Conan sang the entire tune, "I love you more…"

"Perfect!" Haibara smiled. "How do you feel?"

"I feel…" he smiled back. "Like I'm in love… I mean, that I love it when you smile! You should smile more often."

She blushed and crossed her arms, "Don't get smart with me mister. I'm teaching you how to sing as a _favor_."

He drew closer to her, and she backed away from him, now a little nervous. "I'm serious, he whispered. You're amazing… nobody could teach me how to sing… even Ran tried."

His body wasn't listening to his brain, which was yelling "what are you doing!", but instead kept walking towards her, backing her into a wall.

"I think… I…" he leaned down and lifted her chin up with his hand so that she was staring straight into his eyes. "I… I don't know why but…"

Haibara shut her eyes… and leaned forward, resting her head on his chest.

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**To Be Continued… **

How do you like it? Don't forget to review! Can you see the… 'sparks' flying between them yet? xD **REVIEW OR DIE!**


	10. Trust Me

**Disclaimer: CONAN IS NOT MINE!**

Yes… so the time has come. Conan finally makes his first "move", but it doesn't seem like Haibara's willing to let him get away with it! Please read and tell me what you think!

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**Silent Life**

**Chapter Ten**

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"Y-You're getting carried away… just because I taught you how to sing one phrase doesn't mean anything…" Haibara mumbled, her brain screaming for her to stop, but her heart begging her to just stay there in his warm embrace. Where had all her control gone? The red stain on her cheeks wouldn't go away!

"Actually… I really think that… I don't know how… maybe…" he stared into her eyes, and for a moment she thought that he would kiss her, but his cell phone rang. What happened next was far too much to be a coincidence, and so Haibara took it as a sign from God that she should stop all this nonsense... immediately.

Conan frowned, frustrated at his phone's bad timing, but answered it nevertheless. "Moshi moshi? I'm sorry, but whoever this is I'm a bit busy right… Ran? I-I mean Ran-neechan! How've you… been…" He trailed off as his gaze turned to the strawberry blonde standing next to him. Haibara read confusion in his eyes and decided to make it easy for him.

"Sorry Conan-kun, I have to go now. Bye bye," and she walked away, leaving a torn Edogawa Conan… Kudou Shinichi standing there, alone, in the karaoke room… with his… beloved on the phone…?

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"Ah! Ai-kun, you're home early… I thought you said you'd be spending the entire day out?" Agasa smiled at his adopted daughter. "And, how did reviewing lines with Shinichi go?"

Haibara propped herself up in front of the stoves and promptly began making dinner, "How well can reviewing lines go? We said them, finished, and left."

"But I heard from Ayumi-chan that you guys went out for some karaoke as well," he chuckled. "How did _that_ go? She seemed quite distressed since the Detective Boys left before the two of you did."

"I left shortly afterwards," she sniffed. Deciding that the rice could use a bit more seasoning, she hopped down from the stool and tried to reach the cupboard, which was, of course, much too high for a child her age. Haibara cursed, "Why couldn't I have been a _tall_ seven year old?"

Prof. Agasa reached up handed her the small bottle for her. "Ai-kun… are you feeling alright today? You seem a bit more… impatient than usual." He stared at her intently until she finally looked away from his gaze. "Ai-kun?"

"To tell you the truth, I'm a bit tired. You can cook fried rice without burning the house down, right? I'm trusting you, hakase," she turned to leave, but the elderly man held her back. "Ai-kun," he said. "Are… you okay?"

"I am fine, hakase," she shrugged his hand off, something she had never done before… she had never been cold to the professor before. She gave him an almost apologetic look before leaving, and he understood. "I'll leave you alone then."

"… thank you."

Haibara sat onto her bed, somehow exhausted from doing absolutely nothing. Not that teaching Kudou how to sing was _easy_. Realizing that her train of thought had once again landed upon the treaded topic of Conan, she fought to keep the blush that was itching to spread onto her face from surfacing.

Besides, he had just been caught up in the moment… hadn't seen his precious Ran in too long… was just feeling a little lonely because he wasn't used to being so far away from her. _She_ was just a temporary stand-in to him, after all. If anything, she should be offended and demand that Conan apologize immediately… but..

She shut her eyes and sighed, trying to control the painful feeling squeezing her heart. It had felt so _good_… even… dare she say, **better** than how it had been with Shuichi? But what she had with Shuichi had been _real_, hadn't it? If _that_ was how a relationship was supposed to feel, then what exactly did she feel for Kudou?

… emotions are so stupid. If she didn't have emotions, then these questions wouldn't be frustrating her.

Even with Shuichi, she had always had a reign on exactly what she was allowed to feel. Back in the organization, there had been limits… was it because she was no longer there that she had lost her touch? Or was it that there was something just so very special about the wannabe Holmes?

Haibara opened her eyes. Valentine's Day was coming up.

(i.e. I realize that with the festival and Valentine's Day, the dates are out of order, but please bear with me.)

Why had such a thought crossed her mind? Valentine's Day was never a question. It was a day filled with the color she hated the most. Pink. Well, she couldn't really say that later… Sherry, after all, was her choice wine, and the blood-red color suited her, but _pink_ just didn't cut it.

Should I…?

No… she couldn't possibly even be _considering _getting… for… him…?

"UGH!" Haibara's scream was muffled by the pillow she had buried her face into. "I'm going to go to sleep… just sleep on it…"

* * *

"Ne, ne…. Ai-chan, what did you and Conan-kun do after we left?" the small child was still torn between being a supportive friend and being a rival in love.

Ah, the bliss of innocent youth… of course, something _she'd_ never had. Smiling at the brunette calmly, Haibara merely shrugged, "Not much… I left too not long after. Ran-san called." Leaving this comment for the cute little Ayumi to ponder, she walked coolly to her seat and promptly began to drift off into sleep. Last night, she hadn't gotten any… even though she desperately wanted to… the thoughts revolving around Shinichi were getting difficult to handle…

"Morning," Conan put his backpack down on his desk and sat down next to her. Her first thought was to simply ignore him, but the troubled look on his face made her reconsider. "Look…" he opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off. "It's okay. I understand, don't worry about it, okay?"

"No! That's not what I meant," he seemed very frustrated, and her blue eyes regarded him almost curiously, not something they did very often. She gave him a sympathetic look, "Don't worry about it… our 'going out' can end right now… it was just a joke to begin with anyway. The Detective Boys would be only too happy to find that out… Ran-san will probably find it cute… what did she say to you yesterday?"

He shook his head furiously, that hadn't been it either. "I…" he grasped her hands in his and stared helplessly into her eyes. "I… don't know…"

Hope surged into her heart… maybe… just maybe there _was_ a chance for _them_ was what her heart was praying… but her mind told her otherwise. Comfortingly, she loosened his grip on her hands and pulled away. "Kudou-kun, you simply haven't seen Ran-san in a long time… don't worry about it. Something you've had for years and years isn't simply going to fade away… didn't you feel better when you heard her voice yesterday?"

Why she was being so gentle with him she had no idea… it was not like her… but then it wasn't like her to fall in love so easily. "Ai…" he whispered, and then looked down again. "Uh, I mean, Haibara…"

"You can call me Ai if you'd like… or Shiho… or whatever," she said. As soon as the words came out, she wanted to slap herself in the face. Where had _that_ come from? It was definitely not a good move if she was trying to get him to go back to Ran… which was what she wanted… right? "Um… at the very least we can be good friends, okay?"

A smile lit onto his face. "You're acting very strange today… _Ai_… call me Conan… or Shinichi…" his voice became husky as he said his real name, and she felt a blush spread onto her cheeks, but she held it back. "You're one to talk," she retorted. "It's not often I decide to be nice, so don't take advantage of it."

He shrugged, and that movement seemed to make her feel better. Conan was acting normally again. "So," she leaned back into her chair. "What did _she_ call you for?"

"Oh…" his gaze trailed away from her face and onto the ground. Bad sign. "Um… she's coming back to visit in a few days."

Never mind. Good sign.

"That's nice," without realizing it, she had become distant once again, and immediately, he grabbed her hands, not wanting her to block her emotions away. "Shiho… I still don't know exactly how I'm feeling but…"

Normally, she would have felt happy… elated, even, that he had called her by her _real_ name… all her life, the only person who really called her by her real name had been her sister… and Shuichi. If she was Haibara Ai, then she was Sherry. But today, even this only made her feel just a tiny bit better… the thought that _she_ would be coming back seemed to ruin her dream vacation with Conan. Not that any of it would have meant anything in the end anyway.

"Listen to me, Kudou." Shinchi flinched at the sudden, cold formality. "Listen good. What you are experiencing now is something known commonly as loneliness. It happens to **everyone**, and even though you're Sherlock Holmes of this new age, even _you_ experience it as well. Try and control yourself… don't go looking for everyone and everything that might bring you some comfort. You think of me… at best, as a friend. **Trust** me."

When he looked as if he were about to protest, she cut him off, "I've been working on the antidote… I have a new model that'll let you stay older for about the same time as before… just with less pain and fewer side effects. It would be best if you talked to her a bit… you _were_ the one that asked her to wait for you… remember the night before she left?"

Her comment seemed to still him for a moment, and that was all she needed, as the teacher walked into the classroom and they rose to bow. During the entire class, she firmly ignored every poke, every whisper, every pleading gaze thrown her way, and by the end of school, he seemed quite subdued.

Unable to bear the silence any longer, Conan pulled on Haibara's sleeve, signaling her to pull back from their group of friends walking home. "Oi… Haibara…" he mumbled, face turning just a little red. "Are you sure about what you said earlier? Because I think… I think that I might really…"

"Stop right there," she placed a finger coolly onto his lips, cutting his sentence off. "I don't want to hear anymore nonsense coming from you. Just trust me and get a good night's rest. When Ran-san comes over, then you'll see what I mean." He opened his mouth, about to say something else, and she sighed. "My patience can only wear so thin, Kudou."

Trust me. Those words weren't words that Shiho used often, and Conan knew this… and yet she had repeatedly said it multiple times that day. He shouldn't ask for too much… just trust her.

"Okay… on one condition though."

"And what is that?" she threw him a tired look.

He merely grinned cheekily at her in reply, "Call me Shinichi."

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**To Be Continued…**

Please don't forget to review!


	11. Ran's Visit Part I

**Disclaimer: Detective Conan is mine… in my dreams:D**

I know! I know! I'm **so sorry** I haven't updated in so long. To be perfectly honest, I had been thinking of giving up on fanfiction entirely… until I reread this story again. Seriously. I read it and I was like… did _I_ write that? There's no way I could let this story just disappear. Yeah, I know. Something I should have realized a LONG time ago. Sorry!

Anyway. I hope you all haven't forgotten what this story is all about. Reread it if you have to, it'll be a nice reminder… (pretty please?) And I just worked out the dates for the cultural festival and Valentine's Day… etc. Anyhow, it all works out. :D

Enjoy!

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**Silent Life**

**Chapter Eleven**

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Her eyes narrowed at the sight of a laughing girl hugging a small brown-haired child. _In a few days…_ he had told her. Not **tomorrow**!

So why exactly was she stuck in the airport at seven in the morning? There were so many other things she could be working on… more important things… like the development of APTX's antidote. And yet here she was.

Haibara sighed and reluctantly tore her gaze away from the happy couple. They really _were_ a happy couple. They deserved to be happy. _She_ deserved nothing.

"Ai-chan! It's been so long!" Ran walked over to the small girl and enveloped her in a warm hug. When there was no response, she drew away and smiled. "How've you been? I heard from Mitsuiko-kun and Genta-kun that you and Conan-kun are together! Is that true?"

"N-No!" Conan ran over to the two of them and waved his arms wildly. "That… that was just a dare, right Ai?" He looked over at her for confirmation… and reassurance. She nodded back at him.

She shouldn't be feeling this way. Just yesterday she had told him to not think of her as anything other than a friend. So why was she so… she didn't even want to say it… _jealous_. But… she couldn't help it. Last night she had dreamt of Shuichi again… but at the end of her dream, _his_ face became… Shinichi's.

"Edogawa-kun is right," Haibara crossed her arms, remaining distant from the other two. "There's nothing going on."

She didn't have to look at him, she could already feel the frown forming on his face. He had asked her to call him Shinichi… Conan… but there was no way she could bring herself to be any more familiar with him. She wanted so much to do just that, but the biochemist genius had a sinking feeling that she was already having a lot of trouble letting go.

"But you call her Ai now," Ran's eyes went from Conan to Haibara and back to Conan again.

Yes… he calls me Ai now.

A part of Haibara felt like she herself had killed any possibility of a relationship with Conan when she pushed him away the day before. But it was all for the best. He was just confused… but then again, so was she.

"It was part of the dare, but the name just stuck," she handed Ran the red scarf she had been knitting before. She had thought long and hard about it, and in the end she had finished it. "Um… here." Haibara avoided the older woman's gaze. "I had made this for you before as a going away present, but I was sick on that day so I couldn't give it to you…"

She could feel Conan's eyes on her. It hurt that the eyes were surprised. Had he really thought that she had refused to see Ran off? Clearing her throat, she continued, "I know it really isn't cold in America like it is in Japan but-"

She never got the chance to finish her sentence. Ran had already pulled her into a tight hug. "Thank you…" she whispered. Shiho's eyes closed. This kind of feeling… felt so familiar. Just like when Akemi… except she _wasn't_ Akemi. Haibara gave Ran an awkward pat on the bat before gently pushing her away.

"You're welcome."

The karate champion straightened up and wrapped the scarf around her neck. "It's so soft… thank you…"

"You needn't repeat yourself. One thanks is more than enough." Haibara knew she was being cold, but she couldn't help herself. Her small, albeit meaningless, but still important to her… dream vacation with Shinichi was over.

Conan elbowed her in the ribs, "You don't need to be so mean about it." He whispered. "She was just being nice."

She knew. And it made her feel all the worse. This simply confirmed everything she had already known. That Ran and Shinichi were made for each other, and that she was just a cold-hearted scientist causing the both of them so many problems…. And yet they were still so kind to her.

After watching her for a moment, Ran smiled and took the strawberry-blonde's hand. "Ne… Ai-chan, why don't you and I go have a girl's day out today?"

"What?" Haibara looked up, started.

"I _said_ I wanted to spend the day with you. You wouldn't refuse me, right? I'm only here for today and tomorrow!" Haibara had a sneaking suspicion that Ran was up to something. Her smile was too large, and it was odd that _anyone_ would want to spend the entire day with her.

She wished Shinichi would ask to spend the day with her.

… **_where_ ** did THAT come from?

Well, she knew where it had come from… but she didn't think that she'd actually… think it out loud… (weird) She was getting weak. Emotions were beginning to soften her iron-grip control over herself. There had been only one thing she had been grateful to the organization about. It was the ability to shield herself away from pain. Not shield… more like numb… but it worked wonders when she was sad. There was no way she could let go of that. It was her one lifeline.

Haibara turned to look at Conan who seemed a little disappointed.

Because he couldn't spend time with his precious _Ran-neechan_.

"I… wouldn't you rather spend time with Edogawa-kun and Mouri-san? I mean… I don't _do_ much… I don't really talk much either," her eyes were unconsciously glued to Conan even as she spoke to Ran. She'd decided in her heart to make him happy. If he wanted to be with Ran, she wouldn't deny him.

Ran seemed to notice, and a tiny smile appeared on her lips, "Unless you and Conan-kun had some other plans today?"

His dark brown eyes regarded the two of them for a moment. He gave Haibara a lopsided smile. "Nah… You two should go on ahead. We can rehearse lines together some other day."

Not that the two of them had been planning to rehearse anyway. He had planned on being stuck to his "older sister" all day long.

"Then it's decided! Otou-san!" She waved her father over. "Can you take my stuff back home for me? I'm spending the day with Ai-chan!"

As she spoke, Conan tapped Haibara on the shoulder and whispered into her ear, "Are… you sure about what you said yesterday? I…" He looked at Ran. "I… still… I… I don't know… I…"

Her eyes were comforting and she shushed him with a gentle pat on the back. "I told you to just trust me, didn't I? Ask me one more time and I'll really get mad."

The sheer intensity of the look he had on his face… the look that was directed at _her_, Haibara Ai… Miyano Shiho… was impossible for a child of seven or eight to possess. She had never felt something so… extremely… deep before. Even Shuichi hadn't looked at her that way. It scared her.

His eyes searched hers, as if looking for the right answer, but he found none. She was sure of it. She let no emotion cross her face… no sign of the love she felt for him. She would return Kudou Shinichi his normal life… and make him happy if it was the last thing she did. And his happiness was centered around Mouri Ran.

"I…"

She gave him a look that warned him not to say any more, but he continued anyway. "I need a favor then."

"A favor?"

"Yes… I-"

"Let's go, Ai-chan!" Ran took her hand abruptly and began leading her out of the airport. "Want to go to the mall today? I'll help you pick out some clothes… you'll look really nice!"

Haibara swallowed a nasty comment about how Ran's fashion sense would never be able to quite match up to her own and looked back at her small detective.

_Her_ small detective… what she wouldn't give to be able to voice that out loud. It sounded so… right. It felt good to just think it… but she knew it wasn't true. She always _did_ love to lie to herself.

He waved his arms at her frantically, trying to get her attention before forming his pinky and thumb into a "phone" sign and putting it next to his ear.

So he'd give her a call later to let her know about his favor. The favor… which most likely had to do with becoming big again.

Haibara looked up at the girl who was in reality younger than she was. _This_ is the woman that Kudou Shinichi loved and deserved, and she deserved to be happy too.

As soon as they had left the airport, the young scientist pulled her hand out of Ran's grip. There was no reason to act cozy with Ran when Kudou wasn't around. She had only held hands with the girl Shinichi loved because it'd make him feel better.

She had to fight the tiny spark of hope in her heart… it was all Kudou's fault anyway. What on earth had possessed him to act has he had the day before? The feelings that had slept dormant inside her heart were beginning to bubble to the surface. A chance to be with him… she shook her head furiously before coolly crossing her arms.

"And what exactly are you planning, Ran-san?" her eyes shifted over to Conan's _real_ object of affection. "This is… a little sudden, and I can assure that my wardrobe is hardly lacking."

How was it that whenever she was alone with the woman, Haibara couldn't bring herself to act the child that she was supposed to be impersonating! Was it that she didn't want to lose to her?

To her surprise, Ran didn't answer her, and instead took her hand once again (her iron karate grip kept Haibara from pulling away), leading her across the street and into a small dessert shop.

Something was definitely out of place, and Miyano Shiho's ever instinct screamed that Ran was up to something… though in Ran's case, the 'something' probably had good intentions behind it. Haibara should have been able to relax. The store itself… it was called _Peach Sunday,_ was pretty and peaceful enough. Light cream-colored walls with large windows letting the sunlight slip through the clear panes… white chairs and tables… kind looking waiters and waitresses.

She decided to blame her paranoia on her lack of sleep, once again courtesy of a certain Japanese Sherlock Holmes.

A waitress walked over to their table. "What would you like to eat Ai-chan?" the girl's sweet giggle was innocent enough, but the mischievous glint in her eye made Haibara uneasy.

She absentmindedly twirled a strand of strawberry-auburn hair around her finger and frowned, "Coffee will be fine. Preferably espresso." Something strong would wake her up, espresso had become a favorite of hers ever since she'd come to live in Hakase's house and was frequently up trying to make an antidote for APTX 4869. A rueful smile crept onto her face as she realized that she had never worked so hard for the organization before… finally a thought she could be proud of.

"Ai… chan…"

Haibara looked up before inwardly smacking herself across the face. Both the waitress and Ran were looking at her as if she was crazy. She managed a shaky laugh, "Uh… haha. I wanted to see what you would say if I ordered coffee… um… a vanilla cream soda please."

The waitress laughed and marked the orders down before leaving. Ran, on the other hand, kept staring at her.

"Ai-chan…" she sighed and shook her head before smiling. "Never mind."

Haibara decided it would be better not to ask. She turned to look out the window, but Ran's voice stopped her.

"Ai-chan, you like Conan-kun, don't you?"

Her eyes widened. Any normal elementary school child would have turned bright red, began to stutter, and try to avoid the older girl's gaze. She, however, was not an ordinary elementary school child.

She looked straight over at the brunette. "No," she lied. "the relationship you heard about between us was just a dare. You can ask Yoshida-san too." Haibara made a mental note to immediately inform Ayumi that her "relationship" with Conan was off.

"That's not what I meant," there was a kind smile on Ran's face. "I mean… I think that you really like him!"

When there was no response from Haibara, she continued. "You're always so serious and mature… and so cool about everything, but when you look over at Conan-kun, and he's not looking… there's just…" She trailed off.

"Just…?" Miyano Shiho wanted to slam her forehead on the table in front of her… hard. What was she _thinking_ encouraging Ran to continue?

Ran thanked the waitress who brought their desserts over. "Just that…" she leaned her chin on her hands. "You have this very gentle look in your eyes when you look at him. That's why… I think you like him."

That had done it. Haibara did her best to battle the furious pink stain that was threatening to spill over onto her cheeks, but she had the sinking feeling that she was failing. "I…" she stammered. "Edogawa-kun and I are not like that."

"You're blushing," the high school girl giggled. "I just wanted to tell you that I think Conan-kun likes you too… and-"

"Why are you telling me this?" Haibara cut her off. She couldn't bring herself to look over at Ran. The girl had no idea what she was saying. She didn't know that Edogawa Conan was, in reality, Kudou Shinichi.

"Because I want to get to know you better and because I want to give the two of you a hand!" Haibara noted bitterly that the happy wink Ran had given her was eerily like the one Akemi had given her when the two of them had chatted about Shuichi.

Shuichi and Shinichi… was it ironic that their names were so similar? Fate must hate her. She was one of the worst of the bad guys… the very person who had _created_ APTX, and she was always falling for the good guys - an FBI agent and a brilliant detective.

"I was just thinking that maybe I could set the two of you up on a real date! What do you think, Ai-chan?"

She sighed. "Ran-san…"

"Mou! I keep telling you to call me Ran-**_neechan_**!"

Haibara ignored the comment and continued, "What makes you think that the person Edogawa-kun likes is me? If anyone, I think the person he has his eyes on is _you_."

"So you admit that you like Conan-kun?" Ran smiled at Haibara's blush. The small blonde was really a good person at heart, she could tell. It was sad that someone so tiny was so serious… a little girl should enjoy her childhood more! "I just get the feeling that the two of you would go so well with each other. I mean, you're both very mature and similar in a lot of ways! Plus, I keep catching Conan-kun staring at you when he thinks no one is looking."

---------

Conan looked over at the sleeping Mouri Kogoro, and hid a smile. While it wasn't uncommon for him to be sleeping in the middle of the day, _today_ he hadn't been drinking… at least not yet. Even if he was a huge failure as a detective, Conan had to admit that he was a father that cared a lot about his daughter. The man hadn't been able to sleep at all last night, he'd been too excited about Ran coming home.

"You must be disappointed that Ran is spending the day with Ai…" he murmured before checking his watch. It was already three in the afternoon… a little over four and a half hours… the two of them should be done shopping.

Ran he wasn't so sure about, but he doubted that Ai was much of a shopper though she _was_ always looking at those fashion magazines.

I think… it'll be okay to call now.

He dialed Haibara's cell phone.

_Ring… ring… ring… "Moshi moshi?" _

Conan smiled at the sound of her voice. "Hey Ai, would it be okay for the two of us to meet now?"

"_Kudou-kun!" _

He frowned at how off-balance she sounded. "Sorry, was I interrupting something?"

"_No… not at all…" _

Was it just him or did she sound embarrassed? "Where are you now? Is Ran still with you?" He looked to make sure that the sleeping detective hadn't woken up.

"_I'm in a restaurant called _Peach Sunday. _And yes, Ran-san is here… she just went to the restroom, but I think this is a good place for our conversation to end. As much I love to spend time with the girl of your dreams I think I'll leave the hour-long chats with her to **you**."_

He grinned. Maybe he had been imagining things, this was the same old, sarcastic Haibara he knew and loved. _Loved_… he had a feeling that if Ai could hear his thoughts, she'd slap him.

"_Hold on a second… Ran-san! One of my friends just called me, and I have to go now. Thank you for the vanilla soda. I hope you have a nice visit."_

He waited until he heard her leave the store before speaking again, "I guess you really **do** like vanilla don't you?"

"_Don't you know it's rude to listen to other people's conversations Kudou-kun? I realize that we had both already established that I was more of a sherry, but it's not as if I could order wine at a dessert shop. I actually ordered coffee first but… forget it. Where do you want to meet up?"_

"I'll see you at Hakase's house then."

"_It'll take me at least an hour to get there."_

"I don't mind waiting."

"… _okay. Bye then."_

"Bye." The shrunken detective stuffed his hands into his pockets and stepped out of the apartment. He walked in the direction of the professor's house but stopped half way.

_Peach Sunday_… that was the place Hakase had brought him and the detective boys for some desserts a few months ago. If he remembered correctly, Haibara would have to take the Red Line train to get back…

Conan took off in a light jog towards the subway station. It wasn't far, he might as well surprise her by meeting up with her there.

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**To Be Continued…**

And yes, I guarantee that it _will_ be continued, though maybe slowly. School is starting and I really want to finish my other story **Hidden Secrets** soon… it's near its closing!

Anyhow, please **review** and tell me what you think about the way the story is progressing!


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